How to be a Father
by baka-neko-fan
Summary: When a surprise oops-baby is dropped off at Tony Stark's door, he has no idea what to do. Can JARVIS and Bruce help him be a better father than Howard was? Or will everything blow up in his face so badly that he gets his parental privileges revoked? Science Bros, M/, terrible summary. Please give it a chance and review? Rated for language and things that will be cut out.
1. Prologue

So, I've been on a Marvel kick lately... I know, I'm a bad person, I've been over this a million times before, I shouldn't start a fic without finishing (or at least updating) the others, but... Science Bros... It had to happen.

Warning: I WILL NOT POST LEMONS! Not here, at least- there will probably be cutscenes. If you wish to see the unedited version, ask me for a link to the Google Doc, where you can read along while I write and such. :3 Should be fun. Chapter one is already underway (I keep thinking 'almost done,' but then I'm like "I can't end it there!" and keep going.) So... now you know.

Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own Marvel or anything associated. I am a fan, and this is fan fiction.

* * *

"JARVIS? Progress report- how's the construction in New Mexico going?" A very bored-looking Tony Stark asked of his AI while putting the finishing touches on his latest Iron Man suit. It had been several months since the troublesome god Loki's arrest and subsequent departure from Earth, which meant relative peace for the man. His relationship with Pepper had suffered quite the blow after an argument about how he had no concern for how she might feel about his reckless actions that day and so on, but he stood by them, as he knew that he had done the right thing- hell, he had even tried to contact Pepper one last time. He would have died a hero and she would have had Stark Industries literally handed to her on a silver platter, what more could she possibly want from him? Well, unfortunately, she didn't seem to feel the same, and their on again off again romance was shut down for good in a fit of rage. She still worked for Stark Industries, however, cleaning up his messes, but always used personal assistants or Jarvis to relay messages rather than talking to Tony directly whenever possible.

Of course, this had been a big blow for Tony, who had been trying to settle down with her, and it sent him on a bit of a drinking binge for several months that didn't end until finally, in just that past week, he had come up with an idea. Something huge, something that would rocket SI to unreachable levels. It was, essentially, a generator, made up of the same element he had created and used in his Arc Reactor for power several years ago. He was having a scale model of the setup he had used to create it initially to make a CORE that was big enough and powerful enough to, ideally, sustain all of Manhattan by the time it was completed. Of course, the machine took up a lot of room, which meant he needed a lot of land that would be undisturbed, so he was having it made in the middle of nowhere in a desert, where no one would get hurt or stumble upon the construction itself by accident. The project itself was unannounced, and would remain that way, as Tony really didn't need anyone snooping around in his personal business- namely, the army. They would only use it to make more powerful weapons. Unfortunately, this meant having to either do the work himself, which was impossible because he had to be around for SI, or have bots do the work for him, which would take an excruciatingly long time, but would eventually get the job done. Hopefully.

"We are still waiting for deliveries from Stark Industries, sir, including the robots, cement, and metal." The AI replied cheerfully.

Tony rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose an annoyance, "In other words, we haven't even broken ground because some idiots got stuck in rush hour?"

"Precisely, sir."

A sigh. "Fantastic. Can I at least get an ETA on the deliveries?"

"Estimated time of arrival-" The AI cut itself off, "Sir, someone is requesting authorization to see you."

Tony narrowed his eyes, not particularly in the mood to be disturbed, "Who is it, JARVIS?" A screen popped up before his eyes, displaying a young woman with dark brown hair curled in a bun, holding a clipboard to her chest with one hand, and the child of a young child that he couldn't quite see the face of in the other. "Any idea what she wants?"

"She gave the receptionist well documented information concerning that girl with her. Her name is Lucinda Pilsner, and according to these documents, she is your biological daughter." JARVIS replied, "I am running background information checks and searching for possible forgeries or falsifications now, however, it will take at least two hours for the search to complete."

The billionaire's eyes widened in shock. A child? His? Of course he got around in the bedroom department, but he was always careful! Determined that it must have been a falsification, he waved his hand dismissively, "Fine, let them in. You, DUM-E, clean up around here, hide anything dangerous..." He glanced around his lab and corrected, "Scratch that. JARVIS, have someone escort them to the nearest available conference room and tell them I'll meet them there. How are the preliminaries looking?"

"Preliminary reports are showing no evidence of falsification." JARVIS announced, "They will be expecting you in conference room three, sir."

This was, of course, not the first time he had received visitors like this. People claiming to have his child looking for money or fame, hell, he'd even gotten a call asking him to go on Maury once, but it was always the same story, just some desperate broad looking for a paycheck. This time, however, was the first time they'd made it past the front desk, and even JARVIS seemed convinced, so, although he was skeptical, this did sound pretty worse-case scenario for him. The last thing he needed was to make himself look any worse in the public eye, not to mention the army would have a whole new reason to want to confiscate the suit. That was what was on Anthony Stark's mind when he burst the doors to conference room three open, startling the child, who curled back in her chair. He wasn't looking at her though. No, he was checking out the woman who had brought her in, and, before he even so much as sat down, he decided, "Alright, look, lady, paychecks are a Thursday thing and I don't handle them." When she seemed confused by his snarky response, he clarified, "I have a pretty good memory. I could pull out my little black book, but I know for a fact that you're not even my type, so I would have remembered making an exception. If you want, though, go ahead and bring your story to the press, be my guest! It'll be all the more fun to tear you apart. You've got five minutes to walk away now before I call my attorney, and trust me when I say, you would not like my attorney. Hell, I don't even like the guy, but he does a good job, so-"

"Mr. Stark." The woman cut in sharply, flashing her badge, "If you have such an excellent memory, then perhaps you would remember her." She held a glossy photograph out for him and he eyed it warily, then the table, indicating for her to put it down.

Sighing when the woman didn't get the message, he said, "Put it down. I don't like being handed things." Eyeing him suspiciously, the woman set the photo down and Tony edged his way to the table and took a seat, picking it up to examine the image of a fairly familiar blonde, "Yeah, I remember her. She was just a kid, but she wanted it bad, and she was technically old enough. Leggy blonde with a sweet, tight-"

The woman cleared her throat, "I would remind you that there is a child present." Taking note of the child that was looking away, pretending not to listen to the grown ups, Tony quieted and listened as the woman went on, "You seem to recognize her, at least. That woman, Sarah Pilsner, recently deceased from an overdose."

Tony rolled his eyes, not surprised at all. Most of the women he'd had were just as screwed up. "Sorry to hear that?"

"She was this girl's mother." The clarification didn't really need to be made, as Tony was, after all, a genius, but he was trying to play dumb to get rid of them faster.

The billionaire got to his feet, "Look, I'm not a father. I'm not someone who should ever be a dad. I've got a company to run, inventions to update and maintain, and, perhaps you haven't noticed, but I'm apparently in charge of intergalactic peace now, too!" Perhaps if he had been paying more attention to her, Tony would have noticed the way the child curled into herself, trying to make herself smaller, remove herself from the situation.

The social worker glared sourly at Tony, "You are a father, Mr. Stark, whether you like it or not. You claim to be a superhero, but would you really send your own daughter into foster care when you know as well as I do that you can more than afford to supply for her just because it's a bit of a hassle?"

Following her hand gesture to the child, he saw that the kid was smiling... But it was not a real smile, he knew that- no, he had seen that expression before. The sorrow in those blue eyes, the way her bottom lip was puckered in as she bit it to keep the tears from falling. She was trying so hard, so hard, not to be loved, just not to be hated, not to be thrown out, tossed aside. Instantly feeling guilty, He ran a hand through his hair and looked away from the kid, "What about her grandparents? Aunts, uncles?"

"Grandparents are deceased, her only aunt is in jail on murder charges. Please, Mr. Stark-"

"Out." He grumbled, pointing to the door, his hand still rubbing his temples. When there was no immediate movement, he shot a glare at the social worker, "Get out. I'll figure out something to do with her, but in the meantime, you, out. I don't want to see you around here again." He knew he was childishly taking out his frustration on the poor woman, but he didn't much care. After all, it was a lot to absorb in one day.

"Does that mean-"

"Yes, for God's sake, leave your paperwork with my secretary, I'll deal with it when I'm less sober." The social worker, apparently very happy to be leaving, ducked out of the room, leaving the girl, cowering, alone with the father she'd just met. The father she'd seen on television but had never dreamed was he flesh and blood. The father she had never heard from in all her four years of life. Tony glanced over at her, noting the fear she regarded him with, even though she was trying to look happy and grateful. What was he supposed to do? He had his own issues to deal with, the last thing he needed was to try to work with a screwed up kid from a screwed up family... But he couldn't throw her into foster care, either, and he didn't want to be like his father, so detached and cold.

"Sir?" JARVIS interrupted hesitantly, "I have finished gathering the data you requested."

Tony closed his eyes, "What's the verdict, JARVIS?"

"None of the papers have been forged. All of the documents come from authorized, high-quality facilities, and there is no reason to suspect any foul play."

"JARVIS?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Have someone send the strongest drink we've got to my room yesterday."

"As you wish, sir."


	2. Chapter 1

Upon retiring to his room with the paperwork, as promised, Tony noticed that a bottle of Bacardi 151 was waiting patiently on his desk. Smiling, he made a beeline for it as his new-found daughter settled in on the floor at the foot of his bed and started pulling some things out of her backpack. What they were, he didn't care, all he cared about was the rum he gently lifted off the table. He opened the bottle, then glanced at the tumblers that had been left for him. Apparently whoever JARVIS sent thought he was having more mature company, as there were two rather than just one for him. Glancing down at the papers he had unceremoniously tossed onto his desk, he made a swift decision to forego the tumblers and instead took a swig straight out of the bottle before taking a seat. Glancing over at the girl, he smiled a bit when he saw what she was playing with- Avengers figurines. They were effectively kicking a "giant" unicorn's ass. One thing he did note, however, was that she wasn't making a sound, just silently playing by herself, only the sound of the Hulk figurine's fists pounding the stuffed unicorn's belly gave any indication of her being there at all without actually looking at her. "Alright, let's get this over with," He grumbled to himself, taking another generous sip of rum before picking up a pen to work on filling out the paperwork. He frowned when he saw the last name, Pilsner. He didn't like that much, thinking it felt distant, so, already a bit buzzed, he scratched out everywhere it said "Pilsner" and wrote "Stark" instead.

Just as he was finishing the last page, JARVIS interrupted him, "Sir, SHIELD's Helicarrier has crossed the national border."

Tony raised his head, "The point, JARVIS? You know I want nothing to do with them."

"Their trajectory suggests they may be going to an area of interest, sir." JARVIS replied cordially.

This got Tony's attention, "Area of interest?" As far as he knew, the only area of interest to him was in New Mexico, not out of the country. "What area of interest, JARVIS?"

"You asked me to record any possible sightings of the Hulk, sir?" JARVIS reminded, "Data suggests he is currently residing somewhere in the highlands of Kenya."

Slowly, this new information was dragging Tony out of his nearly-drunken stupor, "Kenya? Sounds like something he'd do, but what data? He's gotten so good with keeping the Hulk under wraps..."

"On the contrary, sir, there have been increasing sightings and even satellite images of the Hulk in Kenya in more recent months." JARVIS corrected.

Tony sighed and stumbled to his feet, "So SHIELD thought they could just go have a party with Gentle Ben and leave me out of it? JARVIS, prepare my suit and get the Helicarrier on my radar."

JARVIS pointed out politely, "The girl, sir?"

The billionaire looked over to Lucinda, who had ceased playing with her toys to listen to the conversation intently, though once attention was brought to her, she pretended to have renewed interest in her Iron Man figurine, flying it over the unicorn's head. Though he wanted to just leave her behind, dump her off on Pepper, Tony knew he couldn't do that, especially not after the breakup. Besides, he didn't want to be like his father, he wanted to include her, so... "She looks like she likes Iron Man, right?"

"She's only a child, sir! Exposing her to those elements would be-"

"I'll be careful, mom!" Tony said, waving JARVIS off, "If they've already left the country, they're already too far ahead. The jet is slow and would need landing permission they're not going to give me if I was uninvited in the first place. Iron Man should have much less trouble catching up and getting in there." Now standing in front of the girl, he asked, "What do you think, Lucy? You want to see what that suit's like in action, or stay here and watch people do paperwork all day?" He didn't need an answer, the way her face lit up when she looked up at him was more than enough of a response, "Alright, follow me. I'll show you my secret lair- oh, but first, if you have to go to the bathroom, do it now for God's sake, I'm not making any potty breaks, and we've got a hell of a flight ahead of us."

"Sir, I must insist-"

"Mute, JARVIS. Just shut up and do what you're told."

Once in the lab, seeing Tony in his Iron Man suit, Lucinda was a bit hesitant, eyeing him warily. "Come on, it's like Aladdin only faster and higher tech," Tony assured her, but that wasn't the problem. Her gaze shifted nervously over to the bottle of rum that he had brought down with him, "You think I'm too drunk to fly?" He asked, lowering himself to kneel on the ground, "JARVIS, unmute and tell this kid I'm not too drunk to fly."

JARVIS disobediently replied, "That would be dishonest, sir."

"Oh, come on JARVIS! I've been more wasted than this- hell, I've kicked ass in this suit when I'm drunk, and you know it! Stop being a mother hen, we'll be fine! You wouldn't let anything bad happen, would you, JARVIS? Besides, we'll be over the open ocean most of the time."

"That is my concern, sir."

"For the love of- I'M NOT GOING TO DROP HER, JARVIS. Even if I did, I'd be fast enough to catch her. We're wasting time here, Lucy, are you coming or not?" He asked, rather annoyed now as his faceplate slid into place. After one last hesitant look at the bottle, she stepped into his outstretched arms, and he scooped her up, "That's better. You'll see, we'll be fine. Alright JARVIS, let's blow this pop stand."

It was several hours before they finally reached the Helicarrier, which was, as expected, concealed- but using heat signatures and sonar, Tony was easily able to locate and land aboard the ship. When no one rushed out to greet him with guns, he shifted uncomfortably, "Knock knock, anybody home? I came to join the Green Giant hunting party? Ack!" Quite suddenly, the platform opened up beneath him and more or less swallowed him up. Not having the time to react, he landed on his back inside the cockpit of the Helicarrier. "That's... more like it, I guess," He grunted, sitting up and letting go of Lucinda, "Warn me next time you do that, please."

Lucinda hopped neatly off of Tony's chest and looked around herself in awe. "You're a kidnapper now, Stark?" Clint wondered, eyeing the girl.

"Ha, very funny," Tony grumbled as his suit neatly retracted into the shape of a briefcase. "Evidently, she's my kid, but I bet you all knew about this way before I did, didn't you? That's the real reason you didn't want me on the Avengers, I was a father and I didn't even know it!"

"Some job you're doing, too, bringing her into this." Steve commented, glaring at Tony, "You don't have the right to call yourself a father."

"Capsicle?! What the hell is HE doing here? I thought this was a party, not a parade!" Tony complained, glaring at Steve.

"Enough, both of you, you're acting like children yourselves! Is that any example to set for her?" Natasha chided, stepping between the two. Both men looked back at Lucinda, who was watching one of the crew members play GALAGA.

Tony smirked, "Place is full of bad influences." He mumbled, "Well, can't get much worse than her mother and auntie, anyway. She already tried to tell me I was too drunk to fly."

"Smart kid." Steve commented.

"Is she? I don't even know, she hasn't said a word in the... what, seven hours I've known her. Not a sound, not even when she was playing. She listens, though, I'll give her that much." Not really wanting to talk any more about the subject, Tony turned his attention to Nick Fury, who was sitting back, watching them all interact with a rather amused expression. "Well, One-eye, what've you got to say for yourself? Don't bother trying to pass this off as a SHIELD family vacation, I know what you're after."

Fury sighed, all amusement gone from his expression as he said, "Then you know why. Doctor Banner is out of control, we have to put a stop to it before anyone else gets involved."

"You mean before anyone else gets their hands on him!" The billionaire accused, "Cut the crap, Fury, I'm too smart for this! Whatever's going on with Banner is just a cover story, you want him for the Hulk. You're going to- let's see..." He pulled a Starkphone out of his pocket and read, "Attempt to combine the Hulk's DNA with the Cap's to make an invincible but manageable super soldier." He held his phone up to show the plans, and Steve snatched it away from him to read them. "Any of that ringing a bell, Fury? Your John Hancock's on the order."

The director narrowed his eye, glaring at Stark, "You hacked our systems again?!"

"Correction, never left your system." Tony replied with a smirk, "I'll play along for now, Director, because I want to see what's got the Green Man so upset, but if you so much as swab his cheek, there's going to be hell to pay. You with me on that, Cap?" Although he and Steve were not exactly friends, he knew that the soldier didn't really want any other super soldiers joining his ranks. He'd been chosen for a reason, and mass-producing the serum would only make the world a more violent place. So he nodded in silent agreement with Tony as he handed the phone back. "Good. Lucy! Let that man get back to his... work. I need to make a few adjustments to my suit, and I'm going to need a helper." Of course he had not been intending to actually have her anywhere near the suit, just hand him tools and such, but her face lit up at the thought, regardless, and she happily followed him to the now abandoned laboratory that had been Banner's during their time searching for the Tesseract.

Once settled into the lab, with the suit sprawled out on the table, Tony got to work. He had, at one point, gone down close to the ocean in an attempt to impress Lucinda, but it wound up backfiring as a shark evidently saw them as food and tried to take a bite. Not much damage was done externally, but some teeth had gotten caught in the joints of his thigh, and he'd had to do a bit of shaking to lose the shark, so there were a few minor problems he had to deal with there. While he was focusing on that, he didn't really even notice Lucinda wandering around the lab, checking everything out until he heard an incoming message from one of the computers. "Lucy, don't play with those!" He chided, making his way over to her to see what she'd done.

The girl slunk away guiltily and retreated to a corner while Tony read the message, which read, "Thanks for the warning, but I'm not running this time. Even I can admit things are out of hand, and it's better them than Ross." From one "Mr. Green." He glanced up to read the original message, from "Stark" which read simply,"Better get out of there. SHIELD is coming for you."

On even further inspection, he noticed something else. "What the hell, Lucy? You encrypted the encryptions from the encryptions already in place?" He glanced over his shoulder to see her literally cowering, as his tone had come off more angry than impressed. Smirking smugly, he complimented, "I suppose you are my daughter, after all." Finally, the beginnings of a smile tugged at her lips, though she didn't move from her place in the corner. Deciding he ought to reply to "Mr. Green," which was quite obviously Dr. Banner's handle, though he had no idea how Lucy knew that, he typed, 'Man have I got a surprise for you. Oh- sending some files. You might want to go to a remote area where it's safe to, you know, smash before you read them. I just about blew the Helicarrier apart when I did. I'm estimating arrival time at about..." "JARVIS? How long till we land?" He asked, turning away from his computer to pull his Starkphone out of his pocket.

"At this speed, about seventeen hours, sir." JARVIS replied dutifully.

Tony added what JARVIS said into his message before sending it along with the data he'd gathered about their little plan to mix Bruce and Steve's DNA to make a mega soldier and got a quick response that said "I'll do that. Appreciate the warning."

Turning back to Lucinda, he got to his feet and gestured for her to stand up, which she did, obediently, "Now listen," He said, being almost uncharacteristically serious, "I'm new to the fatherhood game, and I have no idea what the hell I'm doing- but you probably noticed that." She nodded, and he smirked, "Guess sarcasm was also inherited. Good to know. Anyway, I'm sorry about what I said with the social worker. I didn't think you would understand if I tried to apologize, but obviously you're smarter than I took you for, so I'll go ahead and explain. This isn't the first time I've had people knocking on my door saying they've got my kid, demanding money, so I was skeptical, but I think you've just proven yourself with that little stunt," He pointed to the computer for reference. "JARVIS seems to agree on the documentation end of it, too. I know sometimes I might seem a bit..."

"Reckless, self-destructive, clinically insane?" JARVIS supplied.

"Reckless. Mute JARVIS." Tony grumbled, rolling his eyes, "Yes, reckless, but there is a reason for that. My dad... never really paid much attention to me, and I don't want to be the same way with you, because I know what it's like, it's just- my line of work isn't always safe for kids to be involved with, especially as Iron Man. So if I want to do something and you think it's a bad idea to tag along, don't be afraid to say so. You're a smart kid, so I'm going to trust you to make the call on that, okay? JARVIS is coded to look out for my safety, and he seems to be applying that to you, too, but he can only do so much." Moving back to his suit, he added thoughtfully, "I only made it this far because of my dad's research. I wouldn't be alive today if not for some of the things he did, but... I can't help thinking that if I'd only had access to his research when I was younger, with a child's imagination, the things I would be capable of now..." He glanced back at Lucinda, smiling, "I'm going to change that, with you." She didn't say anything in response, and he didn't expect her to, but she slowly crept closer and watched over his shoulder as he rambled on about various parts of the Iron Man suit.

He worked with Lucinda beside him, enjoying her companionable silence (and lack of JARVIS' nagging) for several hours before he deemed it late enough to send her to bed. It was only about eight O'clock- at least, in Eastern time, but he knew children needed more rest than adults, and that he was probably not going to be sleeping at all that night, as JARVIS seemed to enjoy pointing out his terrible sleeping habits, so he figured it would be best to start a regular schedule for her from the start in an attempt at some amount of normalcy. He didn't tuck the girl in or give her a goodnight kiss, as it would have felt more than a little bit awkward, but he did lead her to her room and made sure she got under the covers before he turned the lights out and went back to the lab, where a surprise was waiting for him in the form of the three other Avengers. "What a surprise?" He greeted, uncertain of exactly what it was they were doing in the lab. None of them were scientists, and as far as he was concerned, they had no business snooping around his Iron Man suit.

"When were you planning on telling us you were in contact with Banner?" Natasha asked, getting straight to the point.

"Funny story, actually, I wasn't." Tony replied with a smirk, "I did not contact Doctor Banner, and I had no intentions of telling any of you anything. Generally encrypted messages are meant to be secretive."

"You sent him classified SHIELD information," Clint pointed out.

"Which, with all due respect, should NOT have been classified. I went over this once before with Sir Spanglebutt and the good doctor, a group meant to gather information should not be keeping the information a secret!" Tony stated fairly, "Now if you'll excuse me,"

"We won't excuse you. Do you have any idea, Mr. Stark, how many federal crimes you have committed in the past eighteen hours alone?" Natasha wondered, glaring daggers at him.

With a smug grin, the billionaire replied, "I never claimed to be innocent. But you can talk all you want, agents, the fact of the matter is, right now, I hold more trust from both targets of that little memo your boss has there than SHIELD as a whole probably ever has." He threw a glance over at Steve, who averted his eyes, not wanting to agree, but not wanting to lie, either. "That said, I'm going to ask the two of you again to kindly get the hell away from my suit before I have to show you what improvements I've made."

"Was that a threat, Stark?" Clint questioned.

"Only if it has to be." Tony mumbled, moving past them to resume his tweaking. Eventually, the others left him to work in peace, and, amazingly, left him alone until they were getting ready to land, at which point, Steve approached him alone to inform him.

"We're landing soon," The soldier said shortly, making sure the door to the lab closed behind him.

Tony watched as his suit retracted into its briefcase form before grabbing it and turning to Steve, "JARVIS warned me we were losing altitude, I figured we'd be landing soon. That all?"

Steve hesitated before confessing, "No, not really." After a gesture from the genius to get on with it, he added hurriedly, "It's just... I want to make sure we're on the same page. You're a sarcastic jerk, and I'm not overly fond of you-"

"Feeling's mutual."

"But... You were serious about what you said before, weren't you? I know my own power, and I've seen that monster in action, with those powers combined... We can't let that happen." Though he fumbled a bit with his words, he eventually got the message across.

Tony clapped him on the shoulder and announced, "I agree with everything except the monster bit. I'm not sure you've ever met a real monster, soldier." With this, he brushed past Steve to wake Lucy, and moments later, all of the Avengers, Bruce included, were gathered in front of the ship.

The doctor gave a discreet nod to Tony, who said, "You really ought to change that handle of yours. They somehow managed to get past encryption upon encryption to eavesdrop, and I didn't help them."

"Let's just get this over with. You want to lock me up, be my guest, but you're not going to touch the Hulk. I wouldn't give it to Ross, and I'm sure as hell not going to give it to you, especially not after what happened last time." Bruce announced, looking from Natasha to Clint to Fury before finally resting his eyes upon... "Who is that?"

"Oh, sorry, that's mine." Tony chirped, smirking, "I told you I had a surprise for you, didn't I?"

"Surprise my foot, she's gotta be... what, four, five? Why didn't you say anything before?"

"Didn't know," The billionaire confessed, "Apparently these jagoffs did though, they just didn't say anything," He jerked his head in the direction of the SHIELD agents before waving for Bruce to follow, "Let's talk more inside, it's getting awfully truthful out here."

"Certainly wouldn't want that." Bruce grumbled, following his sarcastic friend inside and back to the lab. Lucinda followed close at their heels, and once back inside the safety of the lab, returned to the chair she had pulled up to sit next to Tony while he worked. "So what's your name, little one?"

When Lucinda looked to Tony, he clicked his tongue in annoyance, "Her name's Lucinda. I'm calling her Lucy, for now... I think she's mute, though. She hasn't said a word since I met her. Or made a sound at all, actually. She's a fan of yours, though, isn't that right, Lucy? You like Hulk?" The girl grinned and nodded in response. "Actually, she's the one that sent you the first message. She must've sent it when I wasn't paying attention, I had to make some minor repairs to the suit from flying over here."

Bruce stared at him as if he had two heads, "Please tell me you didn't,"

"Fly halfway across the Atlantic as Iron Man with a four year old?" Bruce rubbed his temples as Tony smirked, "Yeah, I did. She liked it, though, I think. It's hard to tell with her."

Grateful for the opportunity to change the subject, the doctor went to examine Lucinda, who shirked away from his hand when he got too close. Sighing, he gave up, figuring he would probably be afraid too, what with the risk of a giant green rage monster popping up at any moment. "It is unusual... Most mutes are also deaf from a young age, that's why they have trouble forming words, mimicry... Not impossible, I suppose, she could have had an injury to her voice box or something." He stepped away from her, allowing her some personal space.

"Unmute, JARVIS, what've we got on Lucy's medical records?" Tony wondered, again withdrawing his Starkphone before tossing it onto the work table.

"Aside from her birth records, there are none, sir." JARVIS replied.

Bruce furrowed his brow, "None? No vaccinations, boosters, tummy aches...?"

"None, sir. Might I suggest that her familial background might have something to do with this?"

Tony snapped his fingers, "That's probably it. Sounds like her mother spent every spare penny on her own meds. A likely story from what I remember of her. Apparently she died of an overdose... fairly recently, I would assume, if they're just contacting me about it now."

"Makes sense," Bruce agreed, "You probably shouldn't have let her off the Helicarrier, though. This is a third world country, diseases run rampant, you know that."

"Yes, mother. You sound just like JARVIS, you know."

"I'd take that as a compliment, with how much you love your technology." The doctor replied with a grin, moving to take a look at the computer, "So what's it like being a dad?"

"A lot like being single, only there's suddenly a kid thrown at you." The billionaire replied sarcastically, but sobered up when Bruce shot him a glare, "I have no idea. You think I know the first thing about being a good father? JARVIS would make a better dad than I would and he's nothing more than a program!" The room fell silent for a time, as Bruce gave Tony a chance to calm himself, which he eventually did, though not nearly as effectively as the doctor might have, and decided to change the subject, "Enough about me... What's going on with you, huh? Evidently you've been all over the news lately."

Bruce huffed indignantly, "I thought I'd be able to pull off the starving doctor gig longer than I thought. Turns out the other guy doesn't like going hungry, and I don't have the funds, as a volunteer, to feed his appetite."

Tony furrowed his brow, "I offered to fund you. Offer still stands, by the way."

"I can't do that, Tony. If I accept your money, I'd be indebted to you..."

"Which brings us back to the Hulk thing, right, I get that, but who's the one that tried to warn you about SHIELD and their intentions?" The billionaire pointed out.

"Your illegitimate child, according to you."

"Quit bringing this back to her!"

"Then quit trying to make me angry!"

Again, both men fell silent for a time before Tony finally said, "I wasn't trying to make you angry, I was trying to make a point."

"Oh, that's bull and you know it. You've been itching for me to go on a rampage since the day we met, you remember what you did? You zapped me, and you're doing the same thing now. I don't know what you want- if you just want me to destroy this Helicarrier or what, but it's not going to happen." Bruce assured him.

Biting back a laugh at the memory, Tony protested, "Yes, that time I was trying to piss you off, I'll admit it, alright? But I'm just trying to make a point this time; I'm not your enemy, we're on the same side here, you and I. We're scientists, not soldiers, not government agents. We aim to create, not destroy, but that brain of yours isn't going to get any exercise playing cricket with a nudist colony! You want to make a difference? Here's your chance, take it or get locked away for the rest of your life- however long that may be now with the Hulk- where you know they're only going to force you to give them the destruction they want! Your choice!"

The door opened suddenly behind them, and Clint, Natasha, and Steve all filed into the room. "I hope we're not interrupting anything." Natasha murmured, glancing between the two scientists, "A word, Doctor Banner?"

"Come on, Lucy. You don't have to watch this." Tony grabbed his phone off the lab table and turned to leave, but noticed out of the corner of his eye that Lucinda hadn't moved an inch. "Lucy? Let's go, I'll... buy you new shoes or something,"

Natasha rolled her eyes, "She's not a dog, Stark. You don't just throw a bone and encourage her when she chases it."

"Then what DO you do? I'm open for suggestions! I'd try spanking, but that became illegal how many years ago? Knowing you lot, you'd probably hang me on it, too!"

Steve was the only one that looked surprised by this outburst, "Spanking is illegal?"

Laughing humorlessly, the billionaire snorted, "Yes, it's called "child abuse" now, Cap. Welcome to the century."

Amidst the commotion, Clint, ever true to his nickname, was the first to notice that Bruce was starting to look a little green around the gills. "Uh, guys? Might be a good idea to take this elsewhere." He suggested quietly, but his voice fell upon deaf ears.

"You'd like it too, wouldn't you? Slapping a kid around like that," Natasha purred, venom dripping from her voice, "What else, get some Stokholm Syndrome going?"

"You're sick," Tony spat, "I'd never touch a... that young of a minor!"

"Who's the sick one?" Steve chimed in, repulsed by the thought.

"Uh, guys? Really might want to think about leaving now." Clint repeated, a bit more loudly as Bruce's muscles began to bulge and shift.

Tony glared at Steve, "You don't know what those girls are like now, Spangles, they beg for it! Not that you'd know from experience. How many times have you been laid exactly? Probably less times than I can count on one finger."

"Don't start with me, son," The soldier growled, taking a menacing step forward.

"GUYS-"

"SHUT UP!" The Hulk roared, the entire carrier shaking with the might of it.

Naturally, that got everyone's attention, and they all whipped around to see Bruce, now fully transformed into the Hulk, reaching for the lab table, "Heh, did we do that?" Tony asked, suddenly feeling pitifully tiny.

"No, I'm pretty sure that was mostly your fault." Clint said dryly. Responding to the source of the voice, the Hulk threw the lab table at Clint's head. Thankfully, he managed to duck out of the way, though the table was heard smashing through several walls behind him.

Out of the corner of his eye, Tony saw movement, and looked just in time to see Lucinda throw something at the Hulk's mighty head. "Lucy, no! Shit, JARVIS, suit, NOW!"

Before the Iron Man suit was able to fully expand around Tony's body, and before anyone else had a chance to react, the Hulk snatched the projectile off of the ground and stared at it. It was the Hulk figurine Lucinda had been playing with earlier. Turning it over in his hand, he saw, carved into the back, the name "L STARK" in sloppy letters. Of course, in his fogged state of mind, he couldn't put together what this meant, but, when he looked up at Lucinda, he seemed to understand. "Stop it." A tiny, squeaky voice, raspy from lack of use, commanded softly.

The entire lab seemed to be frozen in time. Tony's Iron Man suit had finished assembling itself, but he failed to make any move to help Lucinda. Even Steve, arguably the most heroic of them all, didn't get between the monster and the child. They just watched on, awestruck, as slowly but surely, the Hulk's features began to melt into Bruce's. The doctor fell to his knees as he emerged from the beast within, exhausted as always from the transformation, though it had been a much shorter time span than most previous spells, and it was Lucinda who moved in to catch his head on her frail shoulder. "Say 'sorry.'" She told Bruce, pointing to the hole in the wall behind Clint.

"I'm... sorry?" Bruce was utterly confused. Why had none of the adults come between him and the child? Perhaps he should have expected as much from Tony, but Steve?

"Welcome back," Natasha, the first one to get over her shock greeted.

Looking around to his team, Bruce wondered, "The hell just happened?"

"Well, we learned Lucy isn't a mute," Tony replied, the suit already beginning to retract, "And apparently the big guy has a soft spot for kids. Or, toys, at least. I'm not really sure which got through to him more."

Glancing down, the doctor noticed the toy still clenched in his hand and smiled slightly, "She is a special one," He murmured, handing the figurine back to Lucinda, "I don't know how you did it, but thank you, Lucy."

Lucinda didn't smile, didn't laugh, didn't show any sign of relief. Instead, she stepped back and smacked Bruce across the face as hard as she could, "Don't be a bully!"

Bruce blinked in surprise. It had been a long time since anyone had dared to strike him, especially knowing what he was, for obvious reasons. Still, this child had had the gall to not only stand up to him as 'the good doctor,' but as the Hulk as well. Realizing how absurd it was, he burst into an almost maniacal laughter as he sat back on his heels, trying to get a better look at her. "This is insane. That's it, isn't it? I've completely lost it. I'm dying in Kenya from some hallucinogenic illness."

"You better not be! I don't want to die as part of your subconscious!" Tony protested.

"If you were dying, the dream wouldn't have ended this well." Natasha said quietly, almost as if she were speaking from experience.

"I suppose that's true," Bruce agreed, getting to his feet and surveying the damage. His usual question, asking if he'd hurt anybody, seemed fairly irrelevant this time around, which he was grateful for, though he could have done without the smashing through the walls bit.

Having an epiphany, Tony clapped his hands and rubbed them together, "So, I guess you're done here, then?" He asked, wheeling around to face the SHIELD agents.

"Bag pardon? We have our orders, Stark, whether you like them or not is irrelevant." Clint stated bluntly.

"We've been over this. Your mission- the part I agreed to- was to track down Gentle Ben here and figure out what the hell his problem was because he was getting just a wee bit out of hand with the smashing, no offense, doctor."

"None taken, I agree with you so far." Bruce confessed, gesturing for Tony to continue.

Natasha folded her arms across her chest, "Stark, you know that wasn't the end of it. Confinement was included, even in your part of the bargain."

"And I think we've found a way to confine the Hulk," Tony strutted over to Lucinda and rested a hand on her shoulder, "He seems to listen to her, so, it works, right?"

Yet again, Bruce found himself rubbing his temples in agitation, "Tony, you're not seriously suggesting you're going to use your own four-year-old child as a human shield against a 'giant green rage monster,' are you?"

The billionaire grinned, "So what if I am?"

"It's called being an irresponsible parent." Steve chided.

"No, it's called being an irresponsible human being." Bruce corrected, shaking his head in disgust.

"We've discussed this, haven't we, Lucy?" Tony said, looking down at the girl, "What do you think? Am I being irresponsible, or do you think you can stand up to that big green guy when he gets out of hand?"Lucinda looked away nervously and shrugged. "What was that? I couldn't quite hear you. Use your outside voice- you know, the one people can hear without reading your mind."

Lucinda huffed at this before turning her eyes on Bruce, then the Hulk figurine still in her hand. "He's not so scary." She said finally.

"I don't think I want to know what this kid thinks of as 'scary,' then," Bruce mumbled, which Natasha, Clin, and Steve all readily agreed to, though they didn't dare voice their opinions on the matter for fear of offending the good doctor.

Tony, disregarding Bruce's comment, said, "Well, there you have it, Bruce, now it's officially official. Either you come with me and Lucy, or you get put under lockdown with these guys," He jabbed his thumb in the general direction of Natasha, Clint, and Steve. Much to Tony's surprise, Bruce didn't answer right away. Having dedicated himself to being 'good,' Bruce was hesitant to accept the offer, knowing that it could quite easily backfire and he could end up destroying not only poor little Lucinda, but all of Manhattan, too. After a few moments of silence, Tony grew impatient and said, "Well, I'll leave you to it, then... Just try to make your decision before we get back to New York. If you were worried about me dropping Lucy, I can't imagine what you think I'd do to you." Smirking, he gave Bruce a friendly clap on the shoulder before dismissing himself, Lucinda following closely like a duckling behind her mother. Little did he know it would literally take Bruce until the last minute to make his decision.


	3. Chapter 2

Tony led Lucinda back to her room, one of the few places on the ship he was fairly certain he could go without the various SHIELD agents disturbing him, and tossed his suitcase on a chair before dropping into one himself, sighing heavily. "Working with SHIELD is always a trip..." When the girl said nothing, he went on awkwardly, trying to fill the silence. "This was my room, you know, back when Loki was trying to take over the planet..." More silence. "What is it with you and pretending you're a mute? Secret's out, kiddo, you might as well talk to me."

Lucinda shifted uncomfortably before turning to crawl up onto the bed. "Mama didn't like it when I made noise."

"I see, that's how it is..." Tony mused, "You were probably little more than a Welfare check to her, weren't you? Can't say I'm surprised..." The girl said nothing, refusing to meet his gaze. Running one hand through his hair, Tony withdrew his phone from his pocket. "JARVIS? I converted that old recording of my dad, didn't I? Of course I did. You've got access to it from here, don't you? Want to dust it off and project it for me?"

"As you wish, sir." JARVIS replied, and the phone suddenly made a projectile image on the walls. "Shall I dim the lights, sir?"

Tony smirked, "We have that much control of the ship? Excellent. Yes, JARVIS, dim the lights. Lucy, take a look at this, will you?" With the lights now off, the countdown on the screen became much clearer- as did the light shining through the still-open doorway, the shadow of a man cast on the ground. Lucinda didn't seem to notice it, as she had obediently turned her attention to the projection, but her father certainly did. He didn't comment on it, though, as he knew full well who it was. No government super-spy would be so pathetically terrible at concealing themselves, and the figure wasn't nearly the right body type to be Steve's, so either it was a rogue SHIELD agent spying on him (with no tact) or Bruce, checking to make sure Tony wasn't doing anything stupid. He was inclined to believe the latter.

Though he more or less tuned out the beginning of his father's spiel, as he had heard it countless times in the past, Tony did finally look up when Lucy started giggling. "That's me you're laughing at," Tony clarified, "And that's my father- I guess that would make him your grandfather, Howard Stark."

"Tony? What are you doing back there- what is that? Put that back! Put it back where you got it from!" The young Howard Stark was chiding, pointing to his model of his city of the future. "Where's your mother? Maria!"

A woman came onto the scene, "Your grandmother," Tony introduced briefly.

"Go on, go, go, go." Howard waved them away as if they were a flies on the camera and began mumbling something about where he would pick it up from as Tony's mother whisked him away.

"So, from all of us at Stark Industries, I'd like to show you... my ass." Lucinda's giggles picked up a bit, though she was trying her best to hold them back. Hearing her, Tony couldn't help but join in with a few chuckles of his own. How awkward was it that he was showing her this, his father- her grandfather- saying he wanted to show the public his ass.

They both fell quiet, however, when Howard walked onto the screen and said very seriously, "Tony. You're too young to understand this right now, so I thought I would put it on film for you. I built this for you," The man on screen gestured back to his model of the city again, "And someday you'll realize it represents a whole lot more than just people's inventions. It represents my life's work. This is the key to the future. I'm limited by the technology of my time... but one day, you'll figure this out. And when you do, you will change the world. What is, and always will be my greatest creation... is you."

"JARVIS, lights, shut down the projector." Tony commanded before looking over to Lucinda, whom he realized he had the full attention of. "You wondering why I showed you that?" She nodded silently, "Because that man was my father. I don't just mean the guy, I mean the way he acted. Shooing me away then leaving me a message for 'later' about how I wouldn't understand because of my age. Maybe he was right, maybe he was wrong, but I'm inclined to think the latter. Kids have... far more active imaginations than adults. That's why it took me so long to figure that thing out."

"You did?" Lucinda asked softly.

Tony smirked, "Of course I did, I'm Tony freakin' Stark, what do you think? I just about died trying, though... But what my father said is absolutely right, about that thing being the key to the future... I just need to tweak it some. Can't talk about that here, though, the last thing I need is SHIELD riding me for it. Ask me again when we get home and I'll tell you." Leaning forward in his chair, he went on, "My point is, I know what it's like to be voiceless... and I know you're a smart kid. You proved that in less than a day, so I'm telling you, take that duct-tape off your mouth. I'm not going to yell at you for making noise-" He paused, considering, before adding, "Unless I'm hung over or in a really bad mood. I might then. But when you have ideas, I want to hear them. If you've got something to say, just spit it out. I promise I'll at least try not to get mad. Alright?"

For a time, Lucinda was silent, and Tony was actually beginning to believe that perhaps his message hadn't gotten through to her. Just as he opened his mouth to rephrase, she smiled sweetly and confirmed, "'kay... If you promise."

"I promise. Pinky promise." He got to his feet and made his way over to the bed, shaking her tiny pinky to reassure her. "Now try and get some sleep. I've got some grown-up stuff to talk to our eavesdropper about. Including; why didn't you just come in, Bruce?" He glanced over his shoulder to see his fellow scientist still standing in the doorway, smiling sheepishly.

Lucinda gazed up at him with worried blue eyes, "What about you? Aren't you going to sleep?"

"Ain't no rest for the wicked." Tony muttered, ruffling her hair affectionately before straightening up, "I'll wake you up when we get close to New York, if you're not already up by then."

"Okay..." She murmured hesitantly before falling back on the bed.

Tony turned and left the room, brushing past Bruce as he did. "That was sweet, what you did there." The doctor said encouragingly, "Maybe there's hope for you after all."

"Who are you kidding?" Tony snorted, "I still have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I'll probably be right in line behind my own father for the world's worst dad awards."

Bruce was quiet for a moment before he muttered, "I'd say mine was worse." The genius obviously had the good sense not to pry, for once, but listened when Bruce added, "At least you're trying, Tony. That's more than you can say for him, or her mother. Nobody's perfect, but if you're willing to put the effort in-"

"I'm a failure, Bruce, don't try to talk me down," Tony grumbled, "I've got an alleged 'monster' and a bunch of zeros and ones pointing out how blatantly terrible my parenting skills are."

"Tony," The doctor sighed, "You said yourself, didn't you? We're scientists. What do scientists do when an experiment fails? They tweak it and try again. I don't need to tell you about perfectionism, one look at that suit of yours is enough to show how proud you are. You know what I think? I think you're holding this to the wrong set of standards. I think you're holding yourself against Iron Man's standards."

"I am Iron Man. Where have you been?" Tony asked, looking at Bruce as if he had two heads.

Bruce shook his head, "That's what I'm saying. You're not Iron Man, you're Tony Stark. It just brings us back to the 'we're not like the SHIELD agents' thing. When we... 'suit up,' we change. Obviously I do, it doesn't take a genius to see that, but you do, too, Tony. You might not see it, but I sure as hell do. Iron Man is peace, power, and justice. Tony Stark? He's a rich, sarcastic show-off."

"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist." Tony corrected, fairly amused.

"You get my point, though. When I'm... When the other guy comes out, I get angry, loud, and I smash stuff. When have you ever known me to do any of the above as Bruce, the way I am now?" The good doctor questioned. It certainly did get the gears turning in Tony's head, though the man still wasn't entirely convinced. "By Iron Man standards, you're right. You totally suck at this. By Tony Stark's standards? I'd say if what you just did in there says anything, you're doing one hell of an impressive job."

"Are your compliments always so back-handed?" Bruce rolled his eyes at this, and, deeming the conversation over, began walking away, only to have Tony chase after him, "No, seriously, I don't know whether to feel proud or insulted. It was like a Loki-Jedi mind trick. You're not Loki in disguise, are you? Does Thor know you're here? Is he gonna blow up the Helicarrier? Please tell me he's gonna blow up the Helicarrier, that would just make my day."

Bruce was in the midst of trying to come up with a witty response when JARVIS interrupted them, "Sir, Ms. Potts is calling."

Tony's confident air vanished when he heard the name, and though he was quick to rebuild it, he certainly lost the bounce in his step. "Sorry, gotta take this," He excused himself to Bruce before stepping into the nearest unoccupied room- which just so happened to be the lab- to answer the call. His curiosity and concern for his friend getting the better of him, Bruce followed, acting as though he were uninterested in the conversation by busying himself at the computer. "Hey, Pepper! I'd ask if you missed me, but it's a little late for that- I've been gone over twenty four hours now."

"Gone WHERE, exactly? I don't have time for hide and seek, Tony!" Pepper snapped through the phone, "And what is this all over the news? Headlines are saying 'Iron Man Kidnaps Little Girl,' and if that's not your Iron Man suit, it's one hell of a good photoshop job!"

The billionaire rolled his eyes, "What is it with people accusing me of kidnapping lately? I didn't kidnap her, she came willingly."

"Anthony Edward Stark, so help me-"

"I didn't kidnap her, Pep, do you ever talk to your intermediaries? Evidently, she's my daughter." There was silence on the other end of the line, "Pepper? You still there?"

"Yes, I'm... I don't think I heard you correctly, though. Did you say she's your daughter?"

Tony smirked, "That's what I said, yes."

"Well give her back! Her poor mother's probably worried to death-"

"To death, yes." Tony cut in, "If I give her back, I'd either be giving her back to the social worker that brought her to me or dropping her off at a cemetery." Glancing at the door, almost as if he expected to see Lucinda standing there, he listened to the shuffling of papers on Pepper's end before pleading, mostly jokingly, "Oh, please let me keep it,"

Pepper clicked her tongue in annoyance, "This isn't a game, Tony. You can't make a decision like this lightly and decide later that you're bored of her and want a newer model."

"Yes, I know how the human growth cycle works, Pepper." Leaning back against the workbench- which, oddly enough, seemed to have righted itself at some point while he was out of the room, he admitted, "Look, we both know I'm not fatherhood material, but I can't just throw her to the sharks, either. Besides, she seems to have inherited my brain, so she should turn out fine."

"Because you're such a splendid example of 'fine.'" Tony could practically see the woman rolling her eyes as she spoke. "That poor kid. I hope, for her sake, she doesn't turn out like you."

"Thank you for that touching sentiment." The genius muttered, running his free hand through his hair, "Say what you want about me, I'm over it, but I'm not backing down on this one. That kid's got potential, and I'm not going to let it go to waste."

Again, Pepper was quiet for a time before she asked, "I've got about twenty different news groups lined up asking for statements and demanding a press conference. What do you want me to tell them?"

Tony groaned, "Press conference? Do I have to?"

"It's recommended. Better to hear it from you than the National Enquirer." She pointed out.

"The things I do for love... Fine, I'll take the conference, tell them I'll make my statement then. That should satisfy them for a few days, at least. I should be back by tomorrow, though, and I might just be bringing some company," He glanced over at Bruce hopefully, but the scientist only rolled his eyes in response, "Other than Lucy, I mean, obviously she's coming, too. Speaking of, you're in charge of setting up a room for her. You're better with... girl... things... than I am."

"Is she really? The way you talk suggests otherwise." Bruce teased, finally able to get his revenge for Tony's earlier reference to Loki.

Muting the phone, Tony pointed accusingly at the doctor, "You need to stop eavesdropping. It's rude, to say the least."

"So is ignoring your girlfriend?"

"Ex. Ex, now, thank you for reminding me. Are you finished? Actually, why am I asking you that, I actually want to talk to you," He took the phone off mute and asked Pepper, "Are we finished? I was in the middle of some super-secret... SHIELD... Avengers-related business."

"Uh-huh... So that's what you're doing in the middle of the ocean? Preventing the second coming of the alien Norsemen?" Pepper challenged.

Tony smirked, "It wouldn't be a secret if I told you, now, would it?"

"Please don't do anything suicidal like last time."

"What's that? Do I detect concern for my well-being?" The billionaire teased.

"Not yours, this company's. You're still the face of Stark Industries, and you're still a National Hero. Wouldn't want to disappoint your fans, now, would you?" Pepper pointed out reasonably.

Pressing his hand over his arc reactor, Tony found himself, for once, over-exaggerating his emotions rather than feigning them entirely, as he complained, "Ouch, Pepper, I think I just felt my heart breaking!"

"Just don't forget to work on your statement. When will you be back?"

"JARVIS?" Tony prompted.

"Approximately twenty hours until we reach Stark Towers at this pace, sir." JARVIS replied obediently.

Tony sighed in annoyance, "Didn't take nearly as long with the suit," He groaned, "Looks like about twenty hours, Pep. We're on the way back now."

"I'll plan the conference for twenty seven hours from now, then, so get to work, and no more disappearing acts between now and then, understood?" Pepper pressed.

"You know, I was actually thinking I might take a little vacation in Malibu-" A beep signaling the call had been ended that cut Tony off. "Pepper?" He stared at the phone incredulously.

"She has ended the call, sir." JARVIS announced.

Tony turned to Bruce, "Can you believe that? She hung up on me!"

"Can't say I blame her." Bruce replied with a chuckle, shaking his head, "You really should treat her with more respect if she's still cleaning up after you even though you've broken up- what happened there, by the way?"

Straightening up with a huff, Tony meandered over to Bruce's side saying, "The Avengers happened. Loki happened. That nuke happened. She said I'm reckless and that I don't think about how anything I do will affect her. Then, you know, the usual, 'selfish rick prick who will never care about another living being' rant." He sighed, then raised his head to look at Bruce, "I dunno, Doc, sometimes I just think maybe love isn't for guys like us. We're just too fucked up for normal relationships."

"I resent that." Bruce said quietly, "Talking like you and I are in the same situation, Tony, you could have anyone you wanted literally worshipping you... Your problem is, you have good taste in women, and that tends to bite you in the ass. My problems are... far more complicated." He averted his gaze and ran a hand through his hair uncomfortably.

"Yeah, I read all about it." Tony replied, "You fell for the daughter of the general who wants to replicate your DNA, ran away from her for her own good last time you saw her, very heroic stuff-"

"I'm not a hero!" The doctor argued, "I'm not a hero... I'm the monster all of the heroes have to save the world from."

The billionaire smirked at this, "I think that depends who you ask. Personally, I have a whole new set of standards for the word 'monster' after meeting Loki and those Chitauri aliens. The good doctor with anger issues doesn't quite live up to it, especially not when that same doctor helped save the world from them. Not only the world, but my life, too- yeah, I saw the footage. I might not have been conscious at the time, but that doesn't change the effect of your actions. I would've died from that fall if not for you- sure, Thunder Thighs might've tried to help, but he was moving way too slow, he wouldn't have made it in time. Keep that in mind next time you call yourself a monster."

If he didn't know any better, Bruce might have thought this was a very high form of compliment from Tony, that Tony was calling him not 'a hero,' but his hero. He refrained from commenting, however, knowing that if he did it would turn from a possible complement to an insult on a dime. Instead, he changed the subject, "I wanted to talk to you," He waited until Tony turned to look at him, indicating the doctor had his attention, before continuing, "About Lucy... You know she's going to need more professional help than just the shots when we get back, right?"

Again, Tony averted his gaze, "Like what? Counseling? Therapy? Don't see why she would- I turned out just fine without it."

"That's debatable." Bruce chuckled.

Tony forced a frown, "Well maybe I'm not perfect, but... I'm not doing that to her. She'll come into her own on her own. It's not like I haven't tried- begrudgingly. Pepper convinced me at one point, but, it just never worked for me. The pills just made me feel like I wasn't thinking straight, and the therapy only pissed me off... But I probably don't have to tell you that, do I, doctor? You've got a shrink-wrapped past yourself."

Folding his arms over his chest as he turned away from the computer, Bruce said, "I'm not sure if I should be offended or flattered that you've read so much about me. Can't say I'm surprised, though."

"I may have used those SHIELD files to get to know my teammates a bit better," Tony confessed with a smirk, "Your file was a real page-turner. I was surprised, actually, that you aren't more screwed in the head than you are."

"Offended it is,"

"No, really- I'm impressed!" Tony argued, "Actually, I had a theory about the Hulk-"

Bruce narrowed his eyes and shot a look at Tony, before quickly returning his attention to the computer. "Tony, I know I've told you, I don't want to control it, I want to get rid of it!"

The billionaire rolled his eyes, "Yeah, you say that, but you really have been working to control him, haven't you? You've figured out how to keep a lid on him most of the time, and how to summon him at will. You've tried getting rid of him- you've tried sacrificing yourself for the explicit purpose of getting rid of him. That's obviously not working, so isn't the next best thing controlling him? When in Rome, right?"

"We're not in Rome. We're in Tokyo, and I'm a Godzilla time-bomb." The doctor said pointedly.

Shaking his head, Tony protested, "Hulk is no Godzilla. He's more like King Kong... Agh, don't try to change the subject! You know as well as I do you've been working on controlling his urges."

Bruce licked his lips and finally returned his gaze to Tony, "So what if I have? What do you intend to do about it? Throw me in a cage, run some tests on me? Start with a few lab rats and some blood, maybe, all for the sake of "science" of course, then move on to-"

"Bruce!" Tony cut in, exasperated, his hands moving in a calming gesture, "I'm not like them, okay? Right, so maybe I would want to run a few tests, but more to test his strength than to harness it. I'm with you, alright, I don't want to give the military handouts any more than you do. Any testing I did, I swear, would never be on your DNA." He could feel the good doctor's eyes drilling holes into him, scanning him for any signs of mistruth or treachery. The genius sighed, deflated, "You know my story, don't you? How Iron Man was born?"

Bruce eyed him a moment longer before responding, "No. I make a point of avoiding news stations, and unlike you, I didn't have time to go prying into my teammates personal lives from the files."

Tony chuckled and sat down on the chair Lucinda had been using earlier, "You might want to settle in, it's a bit of a long story, and I'm not too keen on repeating it."


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own anything Marvel-related! I also do not own Steam, Portal, Portal 2, or anything related to any of those... Well, okay, so I own copies of the game, but I don't own the rights to them... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! On with the story!

* * *

Though Bruce had assured him many times that he really didn't have to share his life's story, Tony had insisted, saying it was only fair since he'd read Bruce's file anyway, especially since with his celebrity status, it wasn't much of a secret. So the doctor listened intently while Tony told him all about the caravan, the explosions, his capture, Yinsen, Obadiah, and how he managed to get away in the prototype Iron Man suit... But he put the most stress on the weapons. How his own weapons had been used against him, how he'd seen first hand how much damage they were capable of. He finished his explanation by saying, "So, we're not that different. We both got used."

Bruce snorted in laughter, "You weren't used until you were under the hands of the terrorists- and even then you were rebelling. But I understand, you had your eyes opened by the experience is what you mean to tell me, you're a changed man, never going back to the ways of old, right?"

With a rather displeased look, Tony confirmed, "Sounds about right- you could lose the attitude though."

"Please, you're really going to lecture me about my attitude?" The doctor retorted with a smirk, "I don't trust people easily."

"I'd think you know I don't either, what with the hacking the SHIELD database before I got proper introductions from everyone bit- you know what Obadiah did, and even Rhodey pulled one on me, taking that prototype straight into Hammers arms complete with an arc reactor proto..." Tony heaved a sigh, running a hand through his hair, visibly stressed by the conversation. In fact, he even noted, with much distaste, that his scalp was slick with sweat. "This," He pointed to his chest, or, more specifically, the arc reactor beneath it, "This is my legacy. Yeah, Iron Man's a big hit with the ladies, but this is going to change the world in so many more ways than Iron Man ever could. Everything in here... Could make or break me. It's the thing that keeps me alive and I walk around with it showing in plain sight, every day, never knowing who might try to take it from me next, but I can't just leave it at home now, can I? What good would it do me there? I'd be dead in a week, at best! Can't trust the press, can't trust bodyguards, can't trust anyone but JARVIS. I don't even know if I can trust Pepper anymore- it's hard to tell when she won't even look me in the eye, I get it, Bruce. That's what I've been trying to tell you, I get you in ways probably not even that ex girlfriend of yours did, because I'm living it too. You've got a so-called monster you carry around with you, hidden behind the good doctor's mask- he's saved your life how many times now? And I've got this," again, he jabbed his finger at his arc reactor, "And they," This time, he gestured in the general direction of the bridge of the Helicarrier, "Want to tear apart our- for lack of a better word, our heroes apart to makes bigger, better, faster, stronger killing machines. Neither of us were made to kill. We're built to create. I did my time in the war game and almost got myself and so many millions of people, good, innocent people, killed along with me. If you really believe going with SHIELD is in your best interests- the world's, when it comes down to it, because you know they're only going to exploit you- then be my guest. If you want somewhere safe to work in peace for the greater good? You know where to find me."

With this, Tony turned to leave, but Bruce, somewhat shell-shocked from the sudden onslaught of heavy emotional monologue, called out, "Tony, wait." The genius paused and turned his head slightly- not enough to look at Bruce, just enough to show his ear, that he was listening, "I really... really think we should talk about Lucy."

Tony chuckled humorlessly, "I already told you, I'm not taking her to-"

"Then work with her yourself! You've got to do something, Tony, or she's just going to end up in a self destructive rut! Listen to me, you said she likes Hulk, right? That's based on which figurines she was playing with?" The doctor came around from behind the computer to get closer to Tony, "She doesn't like Hulk. At least, not the way you think... She thinks she can relate to him."

At this, Tony raised a brow and finally turned to face Bruce again, "She relates to you?"

"I could be wrong, but... This is just a theory-"

"Spit it out, Banner."

Bruce sighed and lifted Lucinda's forgotten backpack up, setting it gently on the table, "You recognize this, right?" He dumped the contents out, that being a complete collection of Avengers action figures, the giant stuffed unicorn from earlier, a coloring book, and a box of crayons, a corner of which was missing.

"Doctor, I have better things to do than play-"

"This isn't recess," Bruce cut in sourly, holding up the Hulk figurine, "I noticed something, and I think Hulk did, too. I think that's why he let me come back before." He held it up so Tony could read the "L. Stark" carved into the back.

"So she's possessive of her toys... and taking to her new last name. That's a good thing, I like people knowing what shit is mine, too- so they don't touch it." Tony huffed, not seeing the meaning behind it.

Bruce shrugged, "You could look at it that way," He agreed, "But then, why is Hulk the only one that has any sort of mark on it? The others don't even have initials."

Tony furrowed his brow and began looking through the other toys, turning them over and over in his hands until finally- "Ow! Dammit-" He had just picked up Captain America, and, while looking for a name, been stabbed by the shield... But round shields don't stab. Upon closer inspection, he found a razor wedged into the back of the shield. It was small- like something that would come off of a pencil sharpener, and still had green shavings ar the tip that had stabbed him.

The doctor- who evidently hadn't noticed this before, glanced over at the box of crayons, "She must've dissected the crayon sharpener. The box says there's one supposed to be built into it."

"What were you getting at before?" Tony pried, dislodging the razor and setting it aside for disposal.

Inhaling sharply, Bruce looked down at the Hulk figurine in his hand, "I think she could be using symbolism here. I don't think she was claiming the toy as hers, I think, think she might be associating the Hulk with herself. In other words saying she's a big green monster that breaks everything it touches." He turned his gaze back to Tony, "Just a theory," He repeated.

What he got in response was far from anything he could have expected. Tony burst out in laughter and took the figure from Bruce, stuffing it, along with the others, back in Lucy's bag, "You, my friend, are far from being a monster, and if you broke everything you touched, I'd've been dead by now, wouldn't I? Since you caught me falling out of the sky and all. No, you're not a monster, and neither is Lucy. Someday, I'm going to make both of you realize it, if it kills me." With this, he slung the pack over his shoulder and left the room still chuckling while muttering the word "monster" as he made his way through the halls, leaving a slightly shell-shocked Bruce alone in his lab.

By the time Tony returned to his room, Lucinda had woken from her admittedly brief nap and was just sitting on the bed, keeping her hands to herself. She jumped when the door opened, and relaxed only slightly when she saw it was only her father. "Hey, Lucy, I thought I told you to get some sleep?" He tried to say it gently, but he was still fairly certain he heard her mumble an 'I'm sorry.' Rolling his eyes, he asked, "Hey, you want to play a game?" Her face brightened at this and she nodded vigorously, "Alright, JARVIS, set up Portal 2 in multiplayer, I want my alt Steam account running on this... piece of trash," He gestured to the computer SHIELD had provided, "The main in my suit, let's test out the new Virtual Reality Sim tech... oh, this should be fun. Lucy, I'm going to be following your lead, okay? You've got to solve the puzzles- JARVIS will help you with the controls, if you have a question, just ask him. JARVIS, don't give away the solutions to the puzzles, make her work for 'em."

"As you wish, Sir," JARVIS replied dutifully.

Tony's suitcase opened and assembled itself around the genius, who was grinning to himself, "This is gonna be awesome. JARVIS, make sure all power is going to the HUD, and sensors, I don't want any misfires!"

"It has already been done, sir," JARVIS announced.

"Alright, Lucy, if you have something to say, type it or use the in-game gestures. This is my first time using the VR sim, and I'm going to shut out external sounds to maximize the effect, so you and JARVIS are my eyes and ears in the real world, okay?" The girl nodded, and, satisfied with this response, Tony's helmet slid into place. It was slow getting started, as Lucinda had to learn all the controls and the object of the game, but once she was in the right mindset, she was guiding Tony through the game like nobody's business (much to GLaDOS' dismay- she was complaining the entire time that Tony was doing nothing.) After the third puzzle was completed in under thirty minutes (that is, all three aforementioned puzzles took a combined amount of approximately 30 minutes) Tony, a bit breathless from running in place, finally missed his mark due to sweat in his eyes and wound up faceplanting his way out of a continuous free-fall. "OW! Ah, god, ow, JARVIS, make a note to decrease the- agh... pressurizers to a manageable level."

"Are you okay?" Lucinda asked, in text as she had been instructed.

Flipping his helmet up, Tony found that his face, was in fact, only inches away from the floor. Apparently the pressurizers had knocked him off his feet, too. "Yeah, Lucy, 'm fine... Learning experience. What experiments are for. I think that's enough Portal for today, though. I don't want to hear what GLaDOS has to say about that little incident." The suit retracted and left him in a heap on the floor, rubbing his face. Thankfully, the pressurizers hadn't caused any major damage- though he would probably get some nasty bruises- and the suit's shell had taken most of the pressure from his actual fall off, so damage was minimal... but still unsafe for household use. Looking up, he saw that a very concerned Lucinda was standing in front of him, holding her hand out to help him up.

Tony smirked and patted the ground beside him for her to sit down, "I'm fine, Lucy, these things happen. I don't think I could rightfully call myself a scientist if I didn't have things blow up in my face at least once in awhile. Besides, JARVIS has my back..." While he was on the subject, he stretched his aching back out some, another part of his body that had suffered from the fall, as most of the pressurizers had been aimed at his back and chest. Lucinda sat down obediently, though worry still clouded her baby blues. "Stop it with the face, will you? You look like a monkey." Tony teased playfully, pinching her cheeks and stretching them out. When she didn't resist like most children would, he removed his hands with a sigh and ruffled her hair, Bruce's theory weighing heavily on his mind.

Leaning back, he clarified, "That was a joke... It... Never mind. I didn't mean anything by it, okay? I just don't like it when you worry about me. That's supposed to be my job, right?" This time, he managed to get a little giggle out of her, which brought a relieved smile to his face, "Good, as long as we're clear... I've got something I want to talk to you seriously about. Don't get used to it- I'm not normally this serious, but circumstances have been demanding it of me lately." He got to his feet and pulled the girl up with him, "So my... Agh, it's complicated, she's the former CEO of Stark Industries, my assistant, and my ex girlfriend." Lucy raised a questioning brow that Tony couldn't help but chuckle at, "Even a four-year-old can smell how bad an idea that was, huh? Well, don't think too much of me, I don't exactly make the best decisions relationship-wise. Take your mother for example." He regretted the words the moment they left his mouth, but Lucinda seemed almost entirely unfazed. Sure, there was a little flicker of recognition in her eyes, but other than that, nothing. "Anyway, she's my assistant, her name is Pepper Potts, she's the one in charge of making me presentable to the general public as something other than a complete lunatic. She called to tell me that we're all over the news- JARVIS?" JARVIS pulled up an image on Tony's Starkphone just as he withdrew the device from his pocket and turned it to face Lucinda. "They think I kidnapped you- apparently that's a common opinion, though I fail to understand why."

"Might I suggest, sir, that given your-"

"MUTE, JARVIS! You don't HAVE to agree with the general public, you know!" Tony pinched he bridge of his nose an annoyance, "Anyway, Lucy, Pepper's making me go to a press conference to explain everything back to normal, but I need to make sure we're on the same page with this." He opened his eyes to look at her, "I've already done and submitted the paperwork, but I assume there's going to be some kind of court date to legalize custodial rights, but this conference is happening not long after we land because the public is impatient, so I'm going to need an answer from you- we can keep your relation to me a secret, at least for a while- say you're some dying kid that wanted to spend your last years with Iron Man or something, turn it into a charity case, or we can tell the truth. I'm asking because once this is out, it's out. There's no stopping the leakage one it's begun. So what do you say?"

At first, Lucinda's expression seemed positively delighted by the prospect, but after a time, she masked her smile and shook her head, "It would be bad..." She murmured quietly, "You can't."

Tony furrowed his brow, "It won't be that bad until you get older... Besides, they'll be crawling up my ass for explanations, not yours. You didn't do anything- although I guess they might try to ask you for inside details... but that won't matter because you probably won't be leaving SI without me or someone I can trust escorting you, anyway, we'll take care of the press buffering." Lucinda simply shook her head again, and the man exhaled, "Alright, if that's what you want... You can make up your own story. Leukemia? AIDS?"

"Leukemia's more believable..." Lucinda muttered, avoiding eye contact by staring at a spot on the floor.

"Yeah, got a point there. Just have to hope nobody pulls your hair." With this, he turned, offering, "If you want, you can play some single player Portal Play the first one first though- JARVIS'll set it up for you. Makes the second one more interesting." This said, he left the girl to her thoughts and returned to the lab, where he worked on his speech in Bruce's companionable silence. Usually, he would have people write his speech cards for him, but this time, given the nature of the subject, he knew it was best to just do it himself. Granted, he didn't have the best track record with sticking to his cards, but... He would certainly give it a shot.

Eventually, when he noticed that Tony had stopped writing for a significant amount of time, Bruce spoke up, "So, you have fun playing Portal?"

"Got my ass kicked by my own suit," Tony grunted, turning to look back at Bruce with a lopsided grin, "Was that you helping her, then?"

"Helping? No, I went to check on you and she shooed me away. I have to say, though, it was pretty hilarious watching Iron Man jogging in place." Bruce replied with a smirk.

Tony shook his head, "Damn... She completed three co-op level puzzles in under thirty minutes, Bruce, including the time it took her to figure out the controls."

"Can't say I've played. I generally have better things to do with my time than sit around playing video games," Bruce confessed, "Besides which, if I get to invested in them, I tend to, well, rage-quit in the worst way possible."

"I can see where that would be a problem," The inventor agreed, turning thoughtfully back to his writing.

"Working on your speech?" Bruce questioned, abandoning his computer station to approach Tony.

"Yeah, pretty much done, just... Something Lucy said is bothering me, and I can't figure out why." The genius mumbled, scribbling on the back of one of the pages.

Bruce shrugged, "Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll come to you. It always does. I'm off to sleep-you should try to get some shut-eye, too. You'll look like a zombie at the conference otherwise."

"Mmf, I'll sleep when I'm far away from SHIELD's agents, thank you." Tony grunted.

"Suit yourself," Bruce waved a hand dismissively and left Tony to his musings. Not ten minutes later did Tony fall asleep face-down on the desk.

* * *

Author's Note: Hello everyone~ Thank you to my reviewers, you're amazing, and to the rest of my readers (please review?) you're amazing as well~ I just wanted to take a time-out to say that and to say a few things about Lucy.

For starters, I never properly described her because, in general, I suck at including descriptions of people in my writing. She's a four year old girl, a bit short for her age and a bit on the emaciated side (though that will change living with Tony, she was just malnourished living with her mother) has reddish brown hair and blue eyes, pale skin tone compared to Tony's... The backpack is an "Iron Man" backpack (I probably should have mentioned) and she's presently wearing some ratty jeans that are a bit short on her and a Pink-and-purple striped T-shirt.

She is not, I repeat, NOT a self-insertion of a younger age. The kid is nothing like me! She does have some minor similarities in behavior to my niece and nephew, as they're about her age, so I'm kinda modeling her behavior around that... But it's purely behavioral. Her personality and (I would kill to have) her brain are all Lucy.

I don't know all that much about adoptions (especially in a case like this) so please don't kill me. I'm sorry I didn't do my homework, but... it happens. So I'm kind of adjusting it to my story line while trying to keep it somewhat believable (so we'll be seeing that Social Worker again).

Anyway, I hope that answered some questions, if you have any more or would like the Google Docs link, please feel free to ask away. *points to the review box below* Or send me a PM, just, you know, whatever works for you. But I would like some feedback because I am extremely self-conscious, especially given this is my first fic in the Avengers fandom, so... I don't want to screw it up. Help me out with some criticism?


	5. Chapter 4

Tony Stark woke with a start several hours later when his head suddenly collided with the floor. "Well hello there, Sleeping Beauty. I was just about to wake you- we're about half an hour away from Manhattan now." Bruce greeted, smirking as he offered a hand to help a still-dazed Tony off the ground.

"Damn... how long was I out?" He wondered, allowing the doctor to help him to his feet.

"A good twelve hours, at least. You were really out of it, too, didn't wake up when I came in here the first time to shut the lights off. Figured it best to just let you sleep there rather than waking you up to take you to your room... Although you've got a pen-shaped indentation on your forehead." Bruce pointed out with a soft chuckle. "And a little drool, too. I hope you didn't ruin your speech."

Tony instantly reacted, wiping his face on his sleeve before turning his attention to his speech. Sure enough, he had somehow managed to spread drool all over the pages, "Fuck. Pepper's not gonna be happy. Looks like I'm wingin' it." He tossed the papers into a nearby trash can before turning to Bruce, "And what about you? Have you made your mind up yet?"

Suddenly serious again, Bruce replied, "You didn't give me much of a choice, you know."

"I gave you a choice, I just made the right one obvious." Tony said with a smirk, brushing past Bruce, "I'm going to grab Lucy and my suit. We can probably get Clint to take us down in a helicopter- work on that, will you?"

"Yeah, because he's going to listen to me, the prisoner," The doctor muttered, but went off to find the agent regardless while Tony went to his room where he found Lucinda, her eyes still glued to the computer screen.

"Shit, Lucy, I didn't mean for you to stay up forever playing..." His curiosity getting the better of him, Tony moved behind the girl to see where in the game she was... "Hey, I thought I told JARVIS to set up Portal 1 first. JARVIS, unmute and explain yourself."

"I did as you instructed, sir. She completed the game within seven hours, at which point she began the sequel." Was JARVIS' crisp response.

For a time, Tony stared at the screen in awe, recognizing the old, abandoned Aperture Science facilities and Cave Johnson's voice in the background. He smiled bitterly at how much it all reminded him of his father before returning his attention to Lucinda. "You can finish when we get home, kiddo, it's time to go." Lucinda blinked at him a few times, as if drawn out of a trance, before nodding obediently and shutting everything down.

Suddenly, Director Fury burst into the room, followed by Clint and Bruce. "Stark."

"Director." Tony acknowledged. When the director opened his mouth to speak, he cut in, "You're in no position to argue with my decision, director. I've got a super soldier and a rage monster backing me up, and, let's not forget, I have your precious files," He held his Starkphone up tauntingly, "All of SHIELD's dirty little secrets. And I could share them with the touch of a button. Is that what you want, Director? Anarchy in America, all on your head?"

"Tony, be reasonable," Bruce pleaded, not particularly appreciating the billionaire's methods.

"Nick Fury doesn't respond to 'reasonable,' doctor, he responds to threats- which that was not. It was a promise. You want to see a green rage monster in a cage, go dump some green paint on a gorilla at the zoo, see how that works for you and your precious reputation." Tony growled, lowering his head slightly as he spoke so he was glaring upward- it made him look much more menacing, which was, of course, the intention. Lucinda, however, did not look in the least bit intimidated. If anything, she looked elated, and, for the first time, moved to hug Tony's legs, though he was paying so little attention to her at the time he hardly registered her delicate touch.

Fury glared at Tony through his one useful eye for a time as if sizing him up before finally relenting, "One outburst, Stark, and both of you are coming back with us. You can bring that arc reactor of yours along, too."

Straightening out, as his own reputation was being put on the line, Tony considered this before crossing his fingers behind his back with one hand and extending the other for a shake, "You have my word, Fury." He assured the man confidently.

Soon after the conversation with Fury, Tony was leading Lucinda and Bruce through the roof entrance to the penthouse, where a very annoyed Pepper was waiting for them. Forcing a smile as she tried to be cordial, she greeted," Ah, Doctor Banner, I presume? Tony raves about your work." The man only had time to nod in response before she turned her attention back to Tony, "Where are your notes?" She demanded, holding her hand out for them, then paused before asking curiously, "And what the hell happened to your face?"

"Funny story- I apparently passed out when I finished writing the statement and this happened," He pointed to the pen-shaped indentation on his forehead, "Because I was sleeping on the pen. The statement's ruined, evidently I had a good dream I wish I could remember because I drooled all over the papers. It'll be fine, I can wing it." Tony assured his assistant, brushing her concerns off as he made his way, "We've got seven hours, right?"

"Five, actually, and you're going to need to make yourself presentable before then, as in take a shower, put fresh clothes on..." Pepper rattled on, but Tony was already standing in the elevator with Bruce and Lucinda.

"Yeah, yeah, time for that later. Playtime now." Closing the doors before Pepper could join them, Tony grinned, "You ready to see what Stark Industries can do, Doc? You'll see why I had so many complaints about the crap tech they gave us on the Helicarrier."

"I'm interested to see your lab, if that's what you're asking. See what nightmares the inner workings of the great Tony Stark's brain produced." Bruce confessed with a smirk.

The trio stepped out of the elevator, and Tony greeted, "Alright, everybody up! Daddy's home and he doesn't have much time to show off."

"Welcome home, sir," JARVIS greeted as all of the lights turned on, revealing the lab and all of its equipment, as well as several wireframe models and monitors.

Lucinda, who had already visited the lab, made herself right at home in one of the office chairs, spinning around in it slowly so she could get a better look at what she'd missed before. This didn't last long, however, as DUM-E attempted to grab the chair and stop it, but instead simply clocked Lucinda upside the head while scolding her with angry whirring noises. "DUM-E, this is why I tell you not to touch things! A modern-day Titanic, that's what you are, and I'll be sure to make note of that when I re-purpose you as a desk lamp. Get outta here, go on," Tony shooed the bot away, and it lowered its mechanical limb in shame as it silently obeyed. Sighing as he stopped the chair himself, Tony moved to check on Lucinda's head, "You okay there, Lu? Don't mind the bots- they're all mostly useless, but they mean well. You gotta play nice with DUM-E at least, though, I owe him... That's gonna leave a mark."

"You owe your robot dubbed 'DUM-E?' I gotta hear this story." Bruce cut in, amused. What he really wanted to comment on was how well Tony had handled the situation, but he knew it probably wouldn't be received well, so he refrained for the time being.

"Yeah? Alright, I guess I can tell you." Tony leaned across Lucinda to pick up an old arc reactor with the words "Proof the Tony Stark Has a Heart" etched into the rim, "This... was the original Arc Reactor I built in the cave," He said, holding it up for Bruce to see, though he didn't hand it over, "It's weak, especially compared to the one I use now, but Pepper thought it would be cute to get those words engraved in it and give it to me as a gift. When Obadiah stole the more recent prototype from me, I came back down here to get this one so I could go save Pepper and kick his ass. Unfortunately, I was still feeling the effects of the paralysis, and the fact that the Arc Reactor had been removed wasn't helping." He gazed down at the object in his hand fondly, "It was all I could do to crawl to my desk and fumble around reaching for it, but I wound up just pushing it further away. DUM-E there saw what I was trying to do, grabbed it, and handed it to me. In other words, he saved my life... So I owe him. Even if he is a tragic failure." Gesturing to the other two robots, he added, "These two are You and Butterfingers."

"Sir, you are forgetting to mention DUM-E's expertise with fire extinguishers." JARVIS pointed out.

Tony rolled his eyes, "Don't remind me. I had nightmares about being chased by giant mechanical fire extinguishers for weeks." When he noticed that Lucinda and Bruce were staring patiently at him, waiting for an explanation, he clarified, "DUM-E was in charge of the fire extinguisher during flight-tests. He doused me constantly, even though, I never really had any problems with fire."

Lucinda, evidently amused by this, giggled softly while Bruce just smiled and shook his head, saying, "All this technology and you're still having problems with fire extinguishers..."

"Hey, I wasn't the one having problems. I would've been fine if-"

"Sir, Miss Potts is requesting your presence in the Penthouse." JARVIS interrupted. "She says it's urgent."

Heaving a sigh, Tony ran a hand through his hair, "Why do I not believe her? Fine, tell her I'll be there in a minute." He glanced back to Bruce and Lucinda, "Anyway, this is my lab- I'll set you up with your own when we have time, Bruce, but you can poke around mine for now if you want. JARVIS, give Bruce permission to... Well, everything but the private stuff."

"Understood, Sir." JARVIS confirmed.

"In the meantime, I'm guessing Pep's going to have me getting ready for the conference- you're coming, so... Shower or something. You can use the guest bathroom in the Penthouse for now until we figure out a room for you. I'm guessing that's going to be Lucy's room, as I don't think the Social Worker would approve of my giving her her own floor. Come on, Lucy, even I know it's not safe for you to be down here by yourself. Especially with the boys. Save preferences and shut it down, JARVIS." With this, Tony led Bruce and Lucinda back to the elevator.

"Why am I coming? Isn't that a terrible idea?" Bruce pointed out, "I mean, it is a press conference, right? Meaning the press is going to be there? Isn't that a bit bad for both of us?"

Tony rolled his eyes, "I'll give you a hat and sunglasses and nobody'll recognize you, don't worry about it. The point is kind of to have the attention on me, anyway, not you. If anyone asks, just tell them you're babysitting. If you don't come, Lucy can't come. It's her very first press conference, shouldn't she be there?" He grinned, looking over at Bruce who simply shook his head in dismay, "Look, I'm giving you free room and board and all the lab tech you want- think you can do me a little teensy babysitting favor every now and then?"

"So that's why you were so desperate this time." The doctor realized, "You wanted a babysitter for Lucy. It all makes sense now. Last time you were indifferent, just a casual suggestion to visit, but this time you stuck your neck out for me."

"Had my fingers crossed," The genius corrected with a smirk, "I didn't sign anything. Fury isn't going to touch the arc reactor tech, if I have to destroy all traces of it myself."

"That would kill you."

"Well there you have it, then. Fury won't get this tech over my dead body." Tony replied confidently as the elevator doors opened.

Pepper was visibly annoyed when she saw that Tony had brought Bruce back up with him, "You can play with your friend later, Tony, Right now you need to get cleaned up for the conference- it's nearly rush hour and the conference is in the heart of the city."

"Sounds like poor planning to me," Tony groaned, but began removing his suit coat regardless, "Get Doctor Banner a change of clothes and some disguise wear and show him to the guest bathroom, then wash Lucy up... I don't know, find a free bathroom, throw her in the Jacuzzi tub in the master, I don't care, she's a kid, she won't look, just get it done." His orders given,the inventor gathered the tuxedo Pepper had already set out for him and made his way into the master bathroom, making sure to leave the door unlocked in case Pepper needed it. He honestly didn't care at that point if Pepper saw him naked- nothing she hadn't seen before, and as he said, Lucinda, genius or no, was still just a kid, she probably wouldn't try to sneak a peek either.

About an hour later, Bruce, Pepper, Lucinda, Tony, and Happy- who was driving- were all gathered in the back of one of Tony's limousines. Usually, he preferred to take street cars, but given how many people were going, it was much easier to do it this way. Tony was, of course, drinking, telling Bruce, "Never hold a Press Conference when you're sober."

"For God's sake, Tony, as if you didn't screw them up enough without the alcohol! You don't even have speech cards!" Pepper scolded, trying her best to pry a bottle of scotch out of his hand.

Laughing heartily, Tony countered, "Now, now, Pepper, daddy needs his happy juice if you want him to feed the hyenas. Speaking of cards- out story is Leukemia. Lucy's a charity case- going to go anonymous- she wanted to spend her dying days with Iron Man. Isn't that cute? I think it's cute. That's the story as long as we can get away with it." When Pepper gave him a menacing glare he defended, "What? She wants it this way! I asked what she wanted and that's what she said! She said it would be bad if people knew the truth." Lucinda nodded supportively, which got Pepper to sigh and back off.

Bruce shifted uncomfortably in a suit that was a bit too big for him and was way too fancy for his taste. In fact, he was fairly certain that it had never been worn before- and was that tie silk? Lucy was still wearing the clothes she'd come to Tony in, as Pepper had no idea what size of clothing to buy her, and obviously they didn't generally have children as guests in the penthouse of Stark Tower... But there would be plenty of time to deal with that later. "Happy, you've got the briefcase, right?" Tony asked, leaning forward in his seat a bit.

"Yeah, right here," Happy confirmed, patting something on the passenger's seat beside him.

"Good." The genius grunted, falling back against the back of the seat while guzzling down what was left of his glass of scotch.

"A bit paranoid, don't you think?" Bruce asked, trying to clear the atmosphere a bit.

Tony gave him a look, "You never leave home without your super-suit, neither do I. Never know when I'm going to need it, even if I'm just going out for a little while. That was the whole point of disguising it like that. Nobody questions a man with a briefcase outside of airport security and government agents." With a smirk, he added, "Besides, it's not paranoia if someone's really after you."

"Fair enough," The good doctor relented, and with this, the group fell into silence for the remainder of the ride- mostly because Pepper, Lucinda, and Tony all fell asleep at one point or another.

Upon arrival at the hotel where the conference was to be held, Tony and Pepper exited the limousine near the entrance, leaving Bruce and Lucinda to park the car with Happy to avoid drawing unwanted attention to them, and the pair, disguised in sunglasses and hats, did their best to dodge candid cameras and various fans as they made their way into the meeting room Pepper had scheduled. Once there, they mingled off to the side where refreshments were being served, including champagne, which Tony was drawn to like a moth to flames. Pepper noted that she would have to have a word with the management, as she had explicitly requested it to be a dry affair. Eventually, the time came for the conference to begin, and the duo removed their poor disguises and made their way to the makeshift stage at the front of the room, where they were instantly bombarded with flashing cameras and questions. "God, what is WRONG with you people? You, front row in the creepy cashmere, turn the brights off before you blind someone, will you?" Tony demanded, quite clearly pissed.

Singled out, the man mumbled an apology and shuffled further back in the crowd. Tony heaved a sigh and ran a hand through his hair, calming himself as he tried to recall what he had written in the cards. "I know there has been some talk about- what did I just say about the flash, Bieber?" He snapped, this time directed at a young man with a haircut that greatly resembled that of the pop star's.

"Tony," Pepper growled in warning, but was waved off dismissively by the inventor.

"There have been rumors circulating that Iron Man has turned to a life of crime, kidnapping small children. I am here to dispel those rumors. It's absurd and you should all be ashamed of yourselves for letting the thought cross your minds. I've got enough money without dealing in children, and you should all know it. If I wanted someone kidnapped, I could simply hire someone else to do it instead of tainting my reputation." He pointed out, earning a few chuckles from the crowd and a glare from Pepper.

"Speaking of tainting the reputation..." She muttered to him, and again was waved off.

"I can have some fun, Ms. Potts, they know I was kidding and so do you. Iron Man represents peace, and, to an admittedly lesser extent, justice and freedom." He let this resonate with the assembled press for a moment, waiting for the clicks of cameras to subside, "By now, I'm sure the vast majority of you are aware of why that is... So I ask you, why would I, Iron Man, abduct a child?"

"Then how do you explain the photos?" One woman asked, holding up a newspaper as evidence. "This is clearly your Iron Man suit with a child-"

Tony held his hand up to cut her off, before whispering over his shoulder to Pepper, "Did you tell them I was taking questions? I'm not taking questions." He turned back to the crowed and repeated this, "I'm not taking questions, but if you'd let me finish, Your Royal Rudeness, I would tell you..." His gaze suddenly settled on Bruce and Lucinda, who was looking at the ground, shaking as if she might burst into tears at any second. "Dammit," He ran a hand through his hair again, "I'm the one that's supposed to be looking out for you, not the other way around." Lucinda raised her head and met Tony's gaze for a moment before he quickly averted it to throw off the press, who was looking around the room, trying to figure out who exactly Tony was addressing.

"Oh, God, not again, Tony," Pepper whispered to herself, covering her face with both hands, knowing it was too late to cut him off.

"I don't care if it's 'bad' PR, I've got enough of that to last ten lifetimes as it is. _You_ do what _you_ want because _you_ want to! And don't you dare lie to me again. Now get up here so I can finish this stupid speech." The room was anxiously quiet for a time before Bruce finally nudged Lucinda, encouraging her to just go and get it over with. The little nudge was enough. She weaved her way through the crowd and onto the stage, where Tony immediately scooped her up for the first time outside of his Iron Man suit and placed her on his shoulder, "Remember this face," He commanded of the general public at large, "Because one day, your kids will be worshiping her just like you do me and your parents my father. I present to you the next generation of Stark Industries, my daughter Lucinda Pilsner-Stark." He furrowed his brow a bit at that, looking up at Lucinda, "Pilsner-Stark? Stark-Pilsner?"

"Stark-Stark." The girl replied softly, just loud enough for her father to hear.

He grinned up at her before turning his attention back to the crowd, giving them a rare opportunity to catch a genuine Tony Stark smile on film, "Lucy Stark. You got anything you want to say before we get outta here, kid?"

Lucinda, who's eyes hadn't left the crowd since she got on stage, noticed the nosy female reporter was trying to push her way to the front with her microphone held out, cleared her throat and said, "Daddy said no questions, your hiney poo-poo."

Tony- as well as the vast majority of the crowd- burst out in laughter at this. Even Pepper, who had been trying to come up with a cover story moments prior, managed a smile. "I love this kid! She's great- isn't she great?" The suddenly proud father gushed. When he calmed down some, he lowered Lucinda back onto solid ground and waved a dismissive hand at the reporters, "Alright, court's adjourned, no more food for the wild animals." As the reporters filed out of the room, seeming unusually satisfied with their gossip, Tony realized something else. Looking down at Lucinda, he commented, "That's the first time you referred to me as a family member."

"That's the first time you held me," She countered with an innocent smile.

Ruffling his daughter's hair fondly, Tony said, "I think I can get used to this." With this, he took Lucinda's hand in his own and led her and Pepper out to the limousine that Happy and Bruce had already pulled around to pick them up.

* * *

Here we begin to see Lucy acting more her age! XD In the best way possible. I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you all for the continued support, etc, etc, please review and tell me what you think etc, (I do respond to signed reviews, by the way- I make a habit of doing that, you just won't usually see them posted here because the system sends them via private message.) Hiney poo=poo... *wanders off cackling*

Here's something for you to do if you don't have anything better to review with- Tony and Lucy pointed out a few firsts, Lucy's first time calling Tony "daddy" and Tony's first time holding Lucy without the Iron Man suit- how many "firsts" can you count in this chapter? (List them if you're up to it).


	6. Chapter 5

Quick disclaimer: I don't own any of the stores mentioned in this fic, in fact, I've never even been to some of them, so if they're described improperly or something, don't shoot, I don't know any better. Call it "artistic liberty."

* * *

Once everyone was settled back into the limo, Bruce grinned at Tony and encouraged, "That was a hell of a stunt you pulled back there. I guess I was right about things coming to you, huh?"

"It wasn't a stunt. It was a Public Relations nightmare." Pepper corrected, now reaching for the scotch herself, "Tony Stark, you are going to be the death of me. JARVIS, make a note to write on my grave "Anthony Edward Stark Sent Me Here.""

"Aw, come on, Pep, it wasn't that bad. Not nearly as bad as the coming out as Iron Man ordeal." Tony pointed out in self-defense.

"Do me a favor? Next time you want to come out about anything, run it past me first so I can throw you off the roof." Pepper grumbled, taking a sip of her beverage.

"Dose! That's twice now that Loki's come up in the past forty-eight hours. Has he got both of you? Am I surrounded? Lucy, please tell me you're not being brainwashed by Reindeer Games, I don't think I could handle that," The inventor complained, pulling the child into his lap to get a better look at her eyes.

Bruce rolled his eyes, "You're seriously paranoid, Tony. If Loki were involved in any way, I think you'd know for sure by now."

"I suppose you have a point there," Tony agreed, straightening up with a sigh, "Maybe I just need a vacation."

"You just took one. I need a vacation." Pepper grumbled, "But I can't take one because I'm too busy putting out your fires for any me-time."

After a spell of awkward silence, Lucinda, who was still sitting contentedly on her father's lap asked, "Who's Loki?"

The question caught everyone off guard- they had forgotten that Lucinda hadn't been a part of their little unit during Loki's reign of terror. "Well, Lucy..." Tony began, trying to come up with some way of describing the god without confusing the child, "Do you remember a while back, when Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America, Thor, and those two nosy SHIELD agents were all on the news together fighting monsters?" Lucinda nodded, making Tony's job of explaining much less complicated, "Okay, good... Well, they weren't working alone. They were all organized under this batshit insane-"

"Language," Pepper chastised.

"Don't tell me how to talk in front of my kid!" The genius complained before continuing as if nothing had happened, "Spaceman. He's from a place called Asgard, where all of the so-called 'gods' live. He's the god of mischief, among other things, and his name is Loki, and he was trying to take over the Earth- or as they call it, "Midgard," and in the process, he was taking this cube of infinite power called the Tesseract. He managed to get his paws on the Tesseract, and even used some crazy scepter to control the minds of a few people- even Clint was a part of his posse for a while there before Natasha knocked some sense back into him. He tried to get me, too, but," He thumped the Arc Reactor in his chest, "He missed. Hit the Arc Reactor instead of skin and it had no effect. Multiple times, actually, he seemed surprised." With a smug smirk, Tony went on, "Anyway, that's who Loki is. The big, bad, evil guy who's ass we had to kick to save the world."

"Language." Pepper corrected again.

"Ass isn't a swear, it's another word for donkey!" Tony pointed out craftily.

Absorbing this information with that childlike sort of wonder that really showed her age, Lucinda asked, "But then, what happened to him? Is he in jail?"

"Good question!" Bruce cut in, trying to take the reins from Tony, who was clearly just going to turn this into a power struggle with Pepper. "Truth is, we don't really know for sure where Loki is right now. The last any of us here on Earth saw of him, Thor- who, interestingly enough, turns out to be his adoptive brother- was taking him and the Tesseract back to Asgard. Loki for punishment, and to send the Tesseract somewhere that, hopefully, it won't be found anytime soon... And, with any luck, wherever Loki is, if he's still alive out there somewhere, he has learned or is in the process of learning his lesson and won't be trying to take over the Earth in the near future."

"Not that it'd be a problem if he does." Tony supplied, "We took him and his alien army once, we can do it again. We're only getting stronger!"

Bruce heaved a sigh and shifted uncomfortably, "While I admire your self-confidence, Tony, I have to disagree. We're not getting stronger, we're getting older. As far as we know, he's ageless, but us? We're only human, and I don't think I need to tell you what happens to humans with age."

Tony furrowed his brow, "Who invited Negative Nancy to this party? So we're not getting any younger, big deal. Just get one of these and we'll be fine." He suggested, rubbing Lucinda's head, "You know it's only a matter of time before Clint and Natasha join the parenthood party, and Spangles can't stay a virgin forever."

"I can't." Bruce muttered, turning his head to look out the window, "You guys go to the party without me."

"Sure you can. It's pretty simple, all you need is a girl and-"

"I can't." Bruce reiterated, "Hulk comes out any time my heart rate goes up, you know what that means, don't you? I physically cannot do it naturally, and there's no way in hell I'm trusting anyone with my DNA to make a test-tube baby. Even if they did, there's a chance they could Hulk out in utero, and then what?" He sighed and shook his head, looking back to Tony, "You want to start the next generation Avengers Initiative, I'll support you all the way, just don't expect me to contribute one of those." He jerked his head in Lucinda's general direction before looking away again, using breathing exercises to calm himself. He hadn't realized how upsetting the topic of children could be, but... he felt like he was letting everyone else down.

A tense silence filled the air for a moment before Tony finally did something extremely rare for Anthony Stark- he apologized. "I'm sorry." He mumbled, "I wasn't thinking-"

"It's fine." The doctor interjected, "Just drop it, okay?"

More awkward silence followed before the air was finally cleared by Lucinda gingerly patting Bruce's arm, assuring him, "We'll be ready."

Bruce actually did a double-take at that, shocked that Lucinda was actually touching him of her own accord. He'd been under the impression that she didn't much care for him in spite of what Tony said about her liking Hulk after the scenes on the ship where she flinched away from and smacked him. Tony set Lucinda down on the seat beside him as he saw they were nearing the tower, "Lucy's right. We don't even know that Loki's alive- and if he is, we'll be ready for him- Avengers Junior or no. Besides, we've still got plenty of time before we're too old to fight, ourselves, and Thor's still on our side- he's just as ageless as Reindeer Games, right? We should just relax and enjoy the peace and quiet for now."

"Peace and quiet?" Pepper scoffed, "For you, maybe. Meanwhile I've got to go around giving paparazzi the 'where babies come from' lecture."

Lucky for everyone else, Happy put the limousine into park safely inside the garage just as Pepper finished speaking. Eager for the opportunity to escape the awkward situation, everyone piled out of the oversized car and into the garage. Well, everyone but Tony, at least. "Hey, Bruce, Lucy, Happy, where do you think you're going?" He complained, "We're just dropping Pepper off- we've got shopping to do. I'm sick of staring at those ratty clothes on Lucy, and that suit is offensively big on you, Bruce."

"Remember what I said about the starving doctor gig?" Bruce pointed out patiently.

"Remember how I'm a multi-billionaire?" Tony reminded, just as reasonably. When neither Lucinda nor Bruce moved to re enter the limo- though Happy had begrudgingly followed orders- he demanded rather impatiently, "My house, my rules- quitcherbitchin and get in the car or you're both… grounded, or something."

The word "grounded" seemed to resonate with Lucinda, who quickly dove back into the car, but Bruce raised a brow defiantly, "Grounded?"

"Yes, grounded." The billionaire replied firmly.

"You're going to send me to my room without dinner and what, refuse lab privileges for a month?" Bruce challenged.

Tony shrugged, "I hadn't thought that far ahead, but I suppose that works."

Rolling his eyes, the doctor slid into the car with them and closed the door, "I'm only doing this because I know how I get when I miss meals, though I really have to question your sanity. You're knowingly threatening the Hulk, and at close range, too."

"Green Genes? He's just a giant green teddy bear." Tony said, earning looks from even Lucinda and Happy at that. "What are you staring at, Happy? Drive! I want to make a dramatic exit." He rolled the window out as Happy shook his head in disbelief before backing the limo up. As soon as the wheels started turning to pull out of the garage, the genius shouted out the window to Pepper's retreating form, "Move your office up to the roof, while you're at it! Keep an eye out for wormholes and horny fruit loops!"

Bruce, yet again, found himself raising a brow at Tony, "Really? You're that paranoid?"

"Best part is, she isn't sure if I was serious or not~" Tony mused, grinning to himself, before glancing back at his friend, "But no, I'm not the one known for my paranoia- that's more your thing, isn't it? Do you even carry a cell phone?"

"Not that I could have afforded on in Kenya," Bruce admitted.

"You wouldn't have had one, anyway. You're just as paranoid as I am about the government getting your tech, only you don't have the means to make your own shit and lock them out of it. We'll fix that. Speaking of locking people out, ignore any calls from Pepper, JARVIS, I'm off-duty." The inventor commanded, reclining against the back of his seat. "Happy- I wasn't very specific earlier- when I say shopping, I mean somewhere nice. Let's hit Chanel first for Lucy, then I'm thinking Giorgio Armani, get some properly fitted suits for Bruce."

Though he may have been mostly removed from society for a while, the doctor still recognized the names "Giorgio Armani" and "Chanel" as being two of the most expensive, high-end boutiques. "Do places like that even have stretchy pants? What do you have against, say, Wal-Mart?" Lucinda nodded eagerly in agreement, as Wal-Mart was far more familiar to her than either of the other places.

Tony narrowed his eyes and looked over at the two, "Tony Freakin' Stark does not shop at Wallyworld. He laughs at it… And stretch pants have never been a style- well, alright, so yoga pants are a thing now, but I don't think any of us want to see you in yoga pants, Bruce."

"But if you get me something too nice, I might… well, rip it." Bruce pointed out reasonably.

"So? Buy a new one." The multi-billionaire suggested, "Not the end of the world- you know my reputation, how many suits do you think I've destroyed in a hurry to get to bed?"

"You bring that upon yourself." The doctor mumbled, "Besides- it's a bit different. You enjoy waking up naked in unfamiliar places. I try to avoid it at all costs.

Shrugging, Tony confessed, "Not so much anymore. I can't trust people to get too close to the Arc Reactor, especially if I'm going to be sleeping or otherwise occupied… Although, when you say it like that, it sounds like you've got something to cover, which makes me want to pull Hulk out of you and see how much you're 'affected.' Your genes might have a use in pharmaceuticals, after all."

"Charming." Bruce muttered, averting his gaze. He didn't like where this conversation was going.

Naturally, Tony was not at all discouraged by the obvious signs Bruce was giving him to drop the subject as he pressed, "Think about it- you know how everybody says size matters, there's gotta be a way to isolate it and make-" He silenced himself when he realized Happy was rolling up the noise barrier between the driver's seat and the back of the limo and smirked, satisfied with himself. "...make some nice male enhancement products. They'd have to be pills, though, somehow I don't think topical would be a good idea, all things considered."

"Are you enjoying this conversation, Tony? I can assure you, no one else is." The doctor said pointedly, giving a far less subtle hint to stop talking about it.

"I am! I'm absolutely fascinated and curious, now. You've got to show me, Bruce." Tony demanded, only half joking.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Bruce asked, "Is that any way to talk in front of your daughter?"

"It's for science it doesn't matter!" Tony assured him.

At that particular moment, Bruce got extremely lucky, as the limo came to a stop, and when he looked out the window, signs told him that they had reached their destination- at least he could probably count on Tony to refrain from talking about Hulk in public. Never in his life did he ever think he would be happy to be at a high-end boutique until that moment, when he slammed the door open, "As much fun as I'm sure you're having, looks like it's going to have to wait." He said, hurriedly getting out of the vehicle before Tony could protest.

Tony huffed, annoyed at this, before getting out himself, bringing Lucinda along with him. After instructing Happy to wait for them, promising to give him some spending money when they got to Giorgio Armani's. Once done, he led Lucinda and Bruce into the store, where everyone seemed to recognize him. Truth be told, he did not frequently shop at Chanel for himself, but Pepper was quite fond of many of their products, so he'd been visiting regularly for a while there. Of course, now, though, he had no reason to visit, but of course, he was still recognized almost instantaneously in spite of his disguise. "Mr. Stark!" A rather lovely young brunette greeted with a smile that made Bruce wonder if their relationship was more than business, though he didn't dare question in public- it might bring the conversation in a full circle. Instead, he pulled his baseball cap a little lower on his head and pretended to be particularly interested in various high-end colognes.

It took a moment for Tony to connect the face with a name, but the moment he did, Tony flashed a charming grin, "Judy! A pleasure, I'm sure."

"It always is," The woman gushed as she came nearer, "Especially after so long, though- we thought for sure you'd never come back after what happened at the Expo."

The Expo? That was a new subject. The eavesdropping Bruce listened closely as his friend waved it off dismissively, "Ah, you know me, I have to keep up appearances for the lovely ladies,"

Perhaps someone who did not know Tony as intimately as Bruce did might not have noticed the way his voice got a little lower and less confident, or perhaps even believed it to be an attempt at seduction- but Bruce knew that tone. Had he not been listening so intently, he probably would not have caught it himself, but he recognized it as Tony's 'drop it and move on, you're treading on thin ice' intonation. Clearing his throat, he decided to be a good friend and give Tony an easy out, suggesting, "Hey, Tony? I think I saw something over there she might like."

Turning to follow the vague direction of Bruce's finger, Tony smirked, "Oh, you scamp! That's the way to the lingerie! I don't think she's quite ready for that yet... You're right, though, we have a tight schedule today." Taking the opportunity to dismiss himself from Judy, Tony pulled Lucinda along by the hand, Bruce right behind them, regretting having opened his mouth at all until Tony's pace suddenly slowed and he gave the doctor a grateful look over the tops of his sunglasses, "Thank you," He said, sounding uncharacteristically sincere, and Bruce opened his mouth to ask what it was about, but missed his opportunity as the billionaire returned the conversation to underwear, "Next time, though, think before you make excuses for me. Lucy's way too young for Teddies."

Shaking his head in amusement, impressed by the man's ability to bounce back from potentially heavy and meaningful conversations, Bruce confirmed, "Right,"

"Go ahead and pick out whatever you want, Lucy," Tony offered, returning his attention to his daughter as they approached the children's section, "If you don't like it or it doesn't fit when we get home, we can donate it somewhere."

Lucinda looked up at him uncertainly, but when he ushered her to go with his hands, she sighed and went to browse through the various clothing racks, leaving the men alone. Of course, the moment she was far enough, Bruce asked, "The Expo?"

Tony huffed, "You get the girl to drop the conversation just to ask me about it later?" Bruce was going to leave it at that, allowing a silence to fall between them, when Tony suddenly interrupted it, "Pepper made a scene about our breakup, it was all over the news, a total PR nightmare. I was trying to make light of the attempted world domination, and she assumed I was drunk and started saying something like, "Well, you know him, he never takes anything seriously." I had the audacity to ask what that was all about while we were still on stage, and…" He shrugged, "Here we are."

"At the Expo?" Bruce questioned, raising a brow, "As in, the Stark Industries Expo Expo?"

"Now imagine how surprised I was," Tony mumbled, "She was throwing accusations about my being drunk, but it turns out she was actually wasted off her ass herself. I tried talking to her about it in the morning, see if I could squeeze an apology out of her, but she said it was on purpose, that she needed some liquid courage to help say what was on her mind… She did regret making a scene, though."

By that point, the good doctor was well aware of the fact that he had traveled deep into the far reaches of Tony's personal life, and, more importantly, an extremely emotional and raw area, and there was no turning back and playing it off anymore. As if sensing his discomfort, Tony tried to explain it away, saying, "JARVIS gets on my case about not repressing things, talking them out. I used to talk to Pepper, but she's a bit difficult to talk to lately, and you're better than a stranger."

Feeling that he had to say something, Bruce shook his head, "I don't mind you venting at me- well, within reason, I just can't believe Pepper would do something like that."

"You and me both. I tried, you know, I tried to change for her… I would have given her everything, anything she asked for was hers, always…" The billionaire sighed, and, stealing a look at him from behind his shades, Bruce was disturbed to see just how… exhausted Tony looked. Worry lines and creases he never recalled seeing there before creased his friend's skin, making him look so much older… And he sympathized.

"It doesn't matter." He said softly, "Anything you could have given her wouldn't have been enough."

With a derisive snort, Tony pointed out, "I wasn't just talking about material things, Bruce."

"I know you weren't," The doctor assured him, "That's what I mean." Tony raised a brow, turning to Bruce, silently urging him to continue, "You said it best yourself- you're a genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist, and that's what she sees when she looks at you. She sees things, not emotions. She sees the past, not the present, and it'll always be that way, even though she should know better than anyone," He poked Tony in the chest playfully where he saw the faint glow of the Arc Reactor bleeding through the suit, "That Tony Stark has a heart. More than that, you were willing to die for her when that nuke was flying for Manhattan, you didn't think twice about what you were going to do, even though you knew chances were you wouldn't make it through yourself… I think that says it all."

For a time, they stood like that, Bruce's finger against the Arc Reactor in silence before finally Tony opened his mouth to respond- but before he could manage to get any words out, he was interrupted by Lucinda's tiny voice saying, "I'm done."

Glancing down, he saw that all she was carrying was a Chanel Hoodie and a pair of pants that he was fairly certain weren't even from the girls' portion of the stre and chuckled, "Lucy, what are those? Go put those back and pick out a few cute dresses, we'll stop for casual clothes somewhere else."

Lucinda bit her lip, "But they're expensive,"

"That happens when you don't shop at Wal-Mart," Tony countered, "Now go on and get yourself some nice things, don't worry about the price. What did I tell you, huh? I'm supposed to be the dad, let me worry about the money and you worry about having fun. If I have a complaint about it, you'll know."

"It's true," Bruce supplied, "He's quite vocal about things he doesn't like. And people he doesn't like, for that matter." Seeing that she couldn't argue, the girl groaned in protest, but wandered off to take another look at the clothes, anyway.

When she left them again, the tension in the atmosphere had dissipated, and their prior conversation was pushed aside. "Honestly, I wonder about that kid." With these simple words, the men allowed a far more companionable and comfortable silence to fall between them as they watched Lucinda examining various dresses and outfits, though truthfully, Tony was glad Bruce was there with him, keeping an eye on her, as he was still trying to figure out what exactly Bruce had meant by all that.


	7. Chapter 6

Several minutes and one stop for 'regular' clothes later, the trio arrived at Giorgio Armani. Happy was, as promised, shopping as well, but he had gone off on his own to look at suits he had been saving up for. Bruce was still trying to worm his way out of having Tony buy suits for him, saying "You know, I think we got enough earlier, I should be fine with just that-"

"You can't go to events like that press conference in basketball shorts and band t-shirts- trust me, I've tried, even if they agree to let you in, Pepper won't- she can get nasty when she wants to." Tony reasoned, "We can- and will- get some custom-ordered stuff later, but for now, at least get a couple nice suits." After much coercion, Tony managed to get Bruce to pick out a few suits to try on- though Bruce insisted on trying them on before they left to make sure they at least fit. Tony decided that, to blow time, he would try on the few he had picked up as well and the two chose changing stalls next to one another. Of course, like many changing room stalls, there was a gap between the ceiling and the walls of the stalls, which, once getting inside and getting cold feet about changing in the stalls, Tony stuck his head through, standing on the bench for leverage.

Bruce, who was only half-dressed at the time, jumped when he saw a head suddenly appear through the gap, "Tony!" He hissed, "What kind of example are you setting for your daughter?"

Tony glanced back through the gap to where Lucinda was sitting on the floor, quietly defending the land of torn-off tags from the evil coat hanger with her Iron Man and Hulk action figures, then returned his attention to Bruce, who was quickly pulling up the slacks of his suit. "She knows to do as I say, not as I do. She's busy right now, anyway."

"What a coincidence, so am I. You know, I think they put these walls up for privacy." The doctor mumbled as he worked at the buttons of the shirt.

"What's a little skin between friends? We're both guys," Tony pointed out, "Anyway, something's been bothering me… What you said earlier, was that some sort of code?"

With a chuckle, Bruce shook his head, "Not a code. I was simply expressing my sympathy and thoughts on the matter."

"Sympathy? So you sympathize with my situation?" The genius pressed, trying not to watch as Bruce began changing again. He knew it was rude, but there was nothing else moving in the room- of course, he could just sit down. Deciding it best to do that rather than risk setting Bruce off with his intrusions, he turned around and sat on the bench, "I don't like this, it feels like I'm in a confessional, and Father, have I sinned."

"I think he might have heard the news by now." Bruce said through the wall, gratitude evident in his voice, "And yes, I do… But you already knew that, I'm sure."

"What, about the daughter of the devil? I know what the files say, yeah, but I also know better than anyone not to take those too seriously. They declared Captain America a National Security threat- CAPTAIN FREAKIN' AMERICA is a threat to AMERICA." Bruce's head bobbed awkwardly in agreement, though of course, Tony couldn't see it now. He couldn't really argue with that. "So what's the real story, Doc?"

The doctor heaved a sigh, "Tony, I really… Can we talk about this when we get back, please? I'm not comfortable talking about it in public, you know that."

Though he grumbled in protest, Tony said, "Fine, but don't expect to get out of it." The shopping trip ended in relative silence, and when they returned home, Tony brought them both down to the lab where he knew they wouldn't be disturbed and asked, "JARVIS? Where's Pepper?"

"On the roof, Sir." The AI replied dutifully.

Tony snickered, "Perfect, don't tell her we're home, should give us at least an hour alone." With this confirmed, he turned to Bruce, who was making himself comfortable at one of the many lab tables, examining blueprints for various things- mostly past, present, and future models of the Iron Man suit. "So? Let's hear it; the tale of the Incredible Hulk."

"I don't know that I'd call him "Incredible," Bruce corrected, "Powerful, immense- possibly even indestructible, but incredible? I'm not so sure about that one." His eyes flicked to Tony's expectant gaze and he sighed, deflated. He wasn't getting out of it. He started with the basics of Hulk, how he literally came to be, but could tell that his friend was waiting for more, so he asked finally, "What?"

"What about her?" Tony demanded, "What was she like? Come on, don't withhold the juicy stuff!"

Pinching the bridge of his nose to resist the growing urge to roll his eyes, the doctor asked, "What do you want me to say? She was beautiful, perfect, intelligent, patient…" He huffed out a breath, "She was my everything, alright? I would've given anything for her, but it just wasn't enough, and I knew it wasn't… I couldn't control the Hulk, and I couldn't get rid of him, I'd just end up hurting her again… So I ran, from her, from Ross, from everything. I wound up in Brazil, helping out in some guarana soda-bottling factory- that's how they eventually caught up with me, I accidentally got a bit of blood in one of the bottles- I thought I had gotten it when I cleaned the conveyor, but," He shook his head, "I was looking for a flower, a very rare, very potent South American flower that a professor I was in contact with using the encrypted messages- when I started using that Mr. Green handle- he suggested I try it. Of course it was no good, and he kept saying he needed more data, more data,"

Seeing that Bruce was getting visibly upset, Tony cut in to give him a chance to calm down, "So you went back to the University, because that was the only place that might have it, right?" Bruce nodded in response, taking the opportunity to do some breathing exercises and calm himself. "But the data wasn't there, it had already been carted off…" The billionaire prompted when he thought it safe.

"Right… I was lost, but… Betty, she found me." He laughed at the irony, "She found me, I was trying to stay away, I saw her with someone else, I wanted to leave it at that, but she found me. She gave me a flash drive with the data, but before we could send it, they caught up with me, I just managed to swallow the drive to keep it away from them… It was a big thing, explosions, tanks, some new sonic weaponry," He shivered at the memory, "Most of it is just a blur since I hulked out, but those sonic cannons…" He sighed, "I don't remember much else… Betty didn't run. I told her to, but she never did, I remember seeing her trying to protect me in spite of her own fear of me, the monster in me,"

Again, he laughed humorlessly, "Next thing I remember is waking up in a cave, and she hadn't run off, surprisingly. We went to some little motel in the middle of nowhere and she got me some clothes, she- she sold a necklace, the only thing she had left from her mother, she pawned it off to buy us some run-down old pickup that we wound up having to abandon at a police check point later on, but we managed to at least send Mr. Blue, my correspondent, the one that suggested the flower, the data. Eventually, we caught up with him in Columbia, then, well… you know what happened there. Well, you might not know he was trying to concentrate my DNA and had been feeding it to victims, the tortured mangled bodies of his subjects-" He cut himself off again, "Anyway, he tried to give me the treatment, and it worked for the instance, but evidently the effects were far from lasting."

Leaning back against the lab table, he went on, "So I let Ross' men catch me, mostly because they had Betty...Then one of Ross' idiot soldiers, apparently they'd been dosing him with some sort of attempted serum, and it did enhance him to an extent, but it made him fairly insane and evil, and, well, obviously adding Hulk's DNA to that didn't help, he became a monster and started tearing up Harlem, so I thought I'd join the party. I had them throw me down out of the 'copter, not knowing- or much caring, at that point, I was a dead man either way- if it killed me, if I didn't change, but I did. Well, I'm sure you've seen footage on that battle." Tony nodded in confirmation, "I don't remember too much, but it was more than I ever had as Hulk before. I know I saw Betty, and I knew… I knew I couldn't stay. Classic Fox and the Hound tale, we were doomed from the start… Besides, I'm no good for her, anyway. I can't give her what she wants, what she needs, what she deserves- hell, I can't even give her stability, or all of myself… Now that I've been away from her, though, now, I think I'm starting to understand… Even if I had stayed, or taken her with me, we could still never be together, not really. She's afraid of me, and she should be. I… I nearly killed her with my own two hands, and it's hard enough for me to live with, let alone forcing her to endure with me, it's just not fair… I found that necklace, though, sent it back to her… My way of telling her I'm still alive and thinking of her, of putting things back the way they were before I interrupted her happy little life with him..." His sad brown eyes lifted to meet Tony's, "That the story you wanted to hear?"

Tony shook his head, "There's more to it than that. You're making yourself out to be the hero of this story, and we both know that's not the truth. You may have left partially for her own good, but that wasn't the only reason, otherwise you wouldn't have used the word 'sympathize,' would you? Besides, you're making that face again. The 'I'm not going to say it but I actually have something to add to this conversation' face you had when I was arguing with the Capsicle about SHIELD's intentions."

Running a hand through his hair, Bruce heaved a sigh, "Nothing gets past you, huh? Guess that's why they call you a genius… You're right, there was more, there's always more. It was something she said a long time ago, before everything with Hulk… There was a while there where we were going through a rough patch, on and off relationship, kind of like you and Pepper, you know? Only I didn't have women on the side… But one of the times she broke up with me, she was really harsh about it, kept making cracks at me about how I'm never passionate about anything but science, how bad I am at showing emotions aside from anger… Well, that last bit may have some truth to it, but I was passionate about her, I just… I guess I didn't show it well enough. Honestly, I don't think I've looked at her quite the same since, though I know I never stopped loving her, just… It's hard to forget things like that."

"Yeah," Seeming more satisfied by this response, Tony brought a hand up to rest on Bruce's shoulder in a comforting gesture, "I know how that goes. Pepper says things like that all the time, that all I care about is sex, booze, and my tech. Like you said, can't really deny those claims, but.."

Deciding it was a good time to change the subject, Bruce prompted, "Nevermind women, let's talk about girls. Tell me how Lucy came into your life."

"She showed up at my door with a social worker that told me her birth mother died recently of an overdose… Speaking of, JARV, I'm going to need you to order some supplies, any injections and booster shots Lucy should've had by not and something to inject them with. Maybe an instruction manual would be good, too." Tony commanded.

"Actually, I wouldn't do that if I were you," Bruce cut in, "I hate going to the doctor as much as you do, Tony, but you're going to need documentations for her for school, and you'll need a doctor for that." Tony opened his mouth to protest, but was interrupted by, "A real doctor, a medical practitioner. Don't be an ass."

With a huff, Tony grumbled, "Cancel, then, I guess. Not that she's ever going to set foot in a public school if I can help it."

"Colleges require them, too." The doctor pointed out helpfully, his gaze settling on the girl, who was standing in front of cases containing several Iron Man prototypes. "The social worker been back yet?"

"I told her not to come back," The genius replied, "I was too sober to handle the news, and we left not long after she did to hunt SHIELD down… Why?"

Bruce shrugged, "Unless something's changed, she should be back within the week to check up on you, make sure you're a suitable parent… and get her into therapy, for the things left unsaid… Oh, and to set up a court date, at some point, to make everything official." When his friend raised a brow at his knowledge on the topic, he reminded, "I come from a broken home, too, you know."

"Right," Tony glanced over at Lucinda and lowered his voice, "You know, I didn't want a kid… But I don't want her to leave."

"She's not going anywhere," Bruce assured him with an unseen smile.

"You kidding? With my track record, I'm an unfit parent at best, especially as a single father. At least if I still had Pep…"

"Don't make this about Pepper- it's about Lucy, and you two were made for each other. Who wouldn't want a genius, billionaire superhero as a father?"

"I wouldn't." Tony mumbled, his gaze finding Bruce's once more, "Been there, done that, minus the superhero bit, plus helping manufacture the world's first… His precious Captain America, yeah, he'd make a good father. No, a _perfect_ father, because he makes a perfect everything. I bet the guy's shit even smells like roses." He shoved away from the lab table he'd been leaning on rather violently, causing it to skid against the cement with an awful sound which drew Lucinda's attention, unbeknownst to him.

Following the subject change with relative ease, Bruce sighed, "You're not your father, Tony. Stop trying to compare yourself to him."

Tony scoffed at this, "Stop trying to compare myself to him? When all I was ever meant to be was a clone of him? Who do you think people see when they look at me, Bruce? They see Howard fucking Stark, that's who."

"To be fair, I think that's who you try to see, too," The doctor said softly, though this, of course, only enraged Tony further.

"So what if I do? All of this," He gestured to the lab around him, "ALL of it is because of him! The Arc Reactor that saved my sorry ass? His invention. The repulsors in my Iron Man suits? His inven-"

"JARVIS?" Bruce cut in, "The robot that also saved your sorry ass? The miniaturized version of the Arc Reactor that you built in a fucking _cave_, Tony, with no access to the outside world? The suits? And I'm sorry, but _who_ was it that flew through a damn wormhole with a live nuke to save Manhattan? So maybe you had some inspiration on some of your work, but don't give him all the credit." The genius' eyes narrowed as he sank into a chair and brought a hand to his chest, making quick work of his shirt and vest, exposing his bare chest, "What are you- Tony, don't-" Bruce tried to stop him, but it was too late by the time he saw what Tony was doing- removing the Arc Reactor from his chest and withdrawing the core from it.

Holding the core up to show Bruce, he asked, "See this, Doctor? Tell me, what's the name of this element? I'll give you a hint- it's pure."

Bruce stared at it for a while, "It's... glowing… What the hell is that?"

"It doesn't have a name yet, that I know of." Tony grumbled, replacing it before shoving the Arc Reactor back into place, "Ask Director Ferocious. He knew about it before I did… It's a previously 'undiscovered' element- but that's bullshit. It was discovered ages ago, they just didn't have the technology to mass produce it back then, and you know who discovered it? Howard Fucking Stark. Tell me again how everything I own is not his creation?"

For a time, the man was silent, but then Lucinda, who had come closer without either of them realizing, spoke up, "It's not what you own, it's what's inside that counts… right?" She said softly, with a child's innocence.

Trying to lighten the mood by making light of his own situation, Bruce agreed with a chuckle, "Usually."

Visibly relaxing when he saw his daughter's face, Tony smiled sadly and pulled the girl onto his lap, "When what's inside isn't just as screwed up by the same person, maybe."

"You're not screwed up, just… Eccentric." Bruce tried, offering a grin.

"Right, I keep forgetting, you're the one that's really screwed up inside." Tony agreed, his sad smile turning into a genuine grin, "Yet somehow you still know how to make everyone else feel better. How do you do it, Doc?"

"It's called schadenfreude." When neither of them seemed to understand, he translated, "It's German for happiness at the misfortune of others."

JARVIS interrupted suddenly, "Sir, Miss Potts approaches."

"Great. Party's over," Tony mumbled, noticing the half-empty bottle of rum he'd left behind. Grabbing it, he took a generous swig straight from the bottle while the doctor shook his head in disbelief.

* * *

I do apologize for the random ending, but this chapter would've gone on forever if I didn't end it there because there's going to be drama with Pepper... Uh, spoiler alert? Heh, whoops.

Another thing, I took some artistic liberties with Bruce's past... I borrowed a scene from the 200...uh, 3? Or was it 6? Hulk movie, I don't remember what year it came out, I saw it this year, so sue me XD Anyway, the bit I said about the breakup with Betty, that was borrowed from that movie, and I also may or may not (I'm not really sure because I honestly don't know) be making shit up about his past as far as Hulk and family history... Anyway, people in fics keep saying he killed Betty, but I'd really like to know where they're getting that from, because she was pretty clearly NOT dead at the end of "The Incredible Hulk" and Hulk 2 is, from what I hear, not coming out until after Avengers 2, so... I feel I'm able to take some "artistic liberties" of my own since, technically, THAT HASN'T HAPPENED IN THE MOVIEVERSE. . Just sayin.

Also, a warning for the future: I have evil things planned, so... You've been warned.


	8. Chapter 7

I don't own Shrek either, guys, or anything related. Sorry to disappoint.

* * *

Pepper was pissed, to say the least, though her expression was cool, calm, and collected as always, the air around her was alive with rage. Seeming to sense this, Lucinda ducked behind Bruce's legs and hid there as the woman walked straight up to her father and demanded with a smile in a polite tone that was laced with venom, "When did you get home?"

"Uhh…. Jarv?" Tony prompted.

"It has been approximately one point five hours since your arrival, sir." JARVIS chirped, seeming indifferent to the situation.

Shrugging as he drained the rest of his rum, Tony gestured to the air, assuming JARVIS' answer would be enough for Pepper. "I see… And how long did you intend to leave me on the roof?"

"Why, someone try to mug you?" The genius teased, "I would have called you in if it started raining, but otherwise… I had no such plans. Enjoying the silence and man time, you know?"

Her professional demeanor quickly unraveling, Pepper asked, "You didn't really even care if I listened, did you?"

"No, not really. You have to admit, it was a pretty good one." Tony said, sounding absolutely unconcerned.

"This is what I meant!" Pepper hissed, dangerously close to her breaking point, "You don't care about anything or anyone but yourself and your stupid suits! You still haven't told me what you were doing with SHIELD that was so important, for all I knew there was a real threat of Loki returning!"

Stark raised a brow at this, challenging, "And you thought I would have gone on a shopping spree if I thought there were any real imminent threat of that?"

"I don't even know anymore! You're not the man you used to be! That suit… That suit changed you." She accused, hands on her hips.

Noticing the way Tony was staring at the bottle of rum, looking for something interesting he could make a snide remark about on it, Bruce decided to speak up, "Did you ever think it might not be the suit that changed him?" Pepper looked surprised as her gaze snapped to the doctor, apparently having forgotten he was present. "Maybe the shrapnel trying to kill him that came from his own weapons? Maybe the fact that he was imprisoned and threatened within and inch of his life by terrorists, is what changed him? And maybe that change was for the better."

There was silence for a moment before Pepper pointed out in a very low, hardly controlled voice, "You didn't know Tony before."

"Yeah, well maybe you didn't either, Pep." Tony mumbled, more to himself than to her. "You say I've changed- I dunno, maybe I have, Sure as hell changed my way of thinking and line of work, opened my eyes, is that a bad thing? Is it bad to be aware of the world around me? Is it bad to help people instead of killing them?"

"You know that's not what I meant-"

Pepper tried, but Tony cut her off again, "No, you meant my habits, right? My revolving bedroom door, all that? Yeah, so maybe that's changed, another change that was supposed to be for the better, but that wasn't enough for you either! Nothing I could have done for you was, and maybe that's on me, but you could've tried a little harder, too!" He was on his feet now, raising his voice, "I was always thinking about you! Everything I did, I did for you, and what do I get? Accusations and guilt trips? Motherly nagging that I already get plenty of from JARVIS, thank you." He exhaled, trying to calm himself as he rubbed his temples, "Pepper, you never talked to me about anything but work. Work and sex, that's all we ever were, and probably all we ever could be."

"Tony-"

"You didn't even notice when I was DYING!" He snapped, glaring at her, "How could you not notice the growing scars, the weird marks on my skin, the way I was always testing my blood? How could you, the one who knew my body more intimately than anyone, not have noticed that? Now tell me again how I'm the one that doesn't care!" She opened her mouth to protest, but he continued, "I tried to tell you! I tried and you wouldn't listen! You didn't even try to pick up on hints I left you!"

Pepper bit her lip, thinking, collecting herself, before finally asking, "Can I have a word? Alone?"

He eyed her for a moment before looking over to Bruce, "You mind putting Lucy to bed for me? JARVIS'll help you find her room, and yours. J-man, put him in the secondary pent, it's not seeing any action anyway."

Pepper furrowed a brow, "That's my room," She protested.

"Was. And now it's Bruce's. You moved out of there not long after it was built, remember? That's why we have two bedrooms in the penthouse, because you moved up with me, then back with your mom when you got sick of me." Tony reminded before turning back to Bruce, "You mind?"

He shifted a bit uncomfortably, "I don't mind putting Lucy to bed, but… I really don't-"

"It's fine, just take it. Rather you have it than rent it out." Tony cut in, waving a hand dismissively.

"I don't know what to…"

"Just say 'thank you, you're amazing, I worship you.' That should cut it." The billionaire joked with a grin, "Don't worry about it. Lucy, I'll come say goodnight to you when I'm done here, okay?" The girl looked hesitantly between Pepper and Tony before nodding and taking Bruce's hand. The two disappeared behind the doors of the elevator and the moment they were out of earshot, Tony demanded tiredly, "What is it?"

Pepper sighed, trying to calm herself some, "That daughter of yours. There's something not right about her."

"Thank you for noticing. Can I go now?"

"No, I mean… She's got this weird thing about being touched. She wouldn't let me wash or dress her- I thought I was going to have to call you out of the shower for help, but she started doing it herself." Pepper explained, "She needs help."

Again, Tony raised a questioning brow, "She hasn't had a problem with Bruce and I… No, come to think of it, she did flinch away from him at first. Hmm, I'll look into it. Anything else?"

"No, not at the moment…"

"I'm calling it quits for the night, then. I need more of this," He waved the now empty bottle in the air and brushed past her, going straight up to the penthouse, where Bruce was waiting for the elevator to return. "Oh, well hello there," Tony greeted with a smirk, "If you're not too tired, sit down a minute, drink with me. I just gotta…" He made his way over to Lucinda's room and peered inside, "Goodnight, Lucy."

A soft, sleepy reply came, "G'night daddy,"

He smiled and closed the door before returning to find Bruce sitting on the couch, "Good, you're still here. What's your flavor? We've got anything and everything- I even taught myself how to mix the fruity drinks. Impresses the ladies."

"For future reference, I'm a beer guy, but nothing for now- maybe some water. I prefer to be alone when I drink." Bruce confessed, watching as Tony poured himself a bottle of something amber-colored that he couldn't quite make out the label of.

"Suit yourself. Let me know if you change your mind." The genius replied, pouring a glass of water from another fancy bottle for Bruce before settling on the couch with him. Of course, Tony's ideas of boundaries were a bit skewed, so he sat just a tad bit too close to his companion for comfort, but Bruce didn't seem to mind it too much as he took his glass with a mumbled 'thank you.' It was then that Tony first noticed something a bit off with Bruce. Concerned, he asked, "Why are you shaking?"

Bruce blinked and looked at his hand, which was, in fact, shaking, this made even more apparent by the ripples in his water glass, "Oh…" He furrowed his brow, "Yeah, I don't know. That just happens sometimes. Maybe the Gamma's finally…" He yawned widely then said something that sounded vaguely like "Get into me," which made the genius raise a brow. "Getting to me, sorry, I'm kind of tired all the sudden."

"It's hardly after eight." Tony pointed out, "How are you tired?"

"Long day?" Bruce reminded with a sheepish smile, "Some of us aren't used to being in…" He seemed to lose his train of thought there, instead standing up and putting the glass down, as his hands were shaking so violently that it was beginning to spill, "I should go to bed."

Perhaps if Tony had been sober, he would have thought to question his friend, but alas, this was not the case, and he didn't really seem to wonder about the logic behind this decision as he muttered, "Eh, you're no fun anymore. Fine, JARV, show him to his room, will ya?"

"As you wish, sir." The doors to the elevator opened for Bruce and brought him to his room, where he remained until well into the afternoon, by which point even Tony was awake and working in the lab, Lucinda watching him with great interest.

She was the first to notice that Bruce hadn't joined them, and she asked with a bit of a pout, "Did Doctor Banner go home?"

"I'm not sure he has a home aside from here right now, Lu," Her father replied, though the question did hit him pretty hard. He'd nearly forgotten Bruce was staying with them, he was so consumed with his work, giving orders to the bots and few trusted laborers working on the new core. "JARVIS? Did he leave?"

"Doctor Banner is still asleep, sir. He has been sleeping since approximately nine PM last night." JARVIS replied, "Shall I wake him?"

Tony sat back, thinking on this as he replied, "Uh, yeah, what do you think, JARVIS? A bit absurd, isn't it? He was acting weird last night, too. Wake him up and make some coffee for him, and have something breakfast-y sent his way."

There was a long pause before JARVIS spoke again, "Sir, there has been a complication."

"With what?" Tony asked, not entirely sure what could be complicated about waking someone.

"It would appear as though the Hulk wishes to make an appearance." JARVIS responded, "Shall I sedate him?"

"Wha? No, no, don't do that JARV, that'll just piss Bruce off, I'll deal with it. Besides, we just got him up… Damn, what'd you say to him?" He wondered as he dressed in his suit.

"He did not wake with the usual techniques, so I employed an alarm."

Sighing, the inventor shook his head, "Let's try not doing that again- that was incredibly stupid, JARVIS, you should know better."

"I apologize, sir."

"Try to keep him in the room using different speakers. Hulk isn't too bright, he won't be able to figure out where the voice is coming from. Should buy us enough time to get up there." Tony boarded the elevator without realizing that Lucinda had joined him until they were nearly to Bruce's room, at which point there was really nothing to be done about it. The doors opened just as a chair was thrown in the general direction of the elevator, and Tony had just enough time to blast it away with his repulsors before it hit them. "Easy there Big Guy, it's just me." Hulk glared at him for a moment, squinting as if assessing the threat as Tony stepped closer, "You remember me, don't you? You saved my ass when I was falling from the sky, I'm guessing you do, at least a little. Enough to know that we're friends. I'm not here to hurt you."

Lucinda moved to stand beside her father and said softly, "You don't need to be here."

"Yeah, that's right… You're safe here. That alarm earlier was just trying to wake Bruce up- it's already after 3 PM, it's not healthy to sleep so much." The green beast covered his ears and roared before dropping to his knees, still clutching his ears. "Okay, ow, that was loud and unnecessary. Come on, you have a voice, use words. What's going on?" Tony encouraged.

Hulk looked up at him for a moment, more confusion than anger etched in his generally outraged features before they finally began to melt away, leaving the doctor and a fairly destroyed room in his wake. Lucinda knelt beside him, worry in her big blue eyes as she reached out to pet him. "Hey Lucy? 'm not a dog, you know." Bruce reminded with a chuckle.

"No, you're a lot more like a bipolar feline." Tony agreed, gaining Bruce's attention. "You alright there chief? You just about slept through the whole day and then Hulked out when JARVIS tried to wake you."

Bruce glanced at the destruction around him and sighed, sitting up, "I'm sorry… What time is it?"

"A little after three, and you called it quits on me early last night. Are you feeling alright?"

"Just… Kinda dizzy, confused… but that's normal- I mean, for when I first wake up from… episodes." The doctor mumbled, slurring his words slightly.

Deciding that was a satisfactory enough response, Tony suggested, "Well, get up and let's get some grub in you, maybe that'll help. Take an easy day. Come on, Lucy, let's leave him to change."

The moment the elevator doors closed, Lucinda looked up to Tony and asked, "Is he really gonna be okay?"

Flicking his faceplate up, Tony smiled, "Of course he will. He's probably just having an off day, or maybe he ate something bad while he was in Africa. Don't worry too much, he knows way more about medicine than we do, and he didn't seem too concerned, did he?"

"I guess…"

After Bruce's breakfast (when Tony and Lucinda decided they may as well have dinner,) Tony declared that they should have a movie night, so, the trio moved into what could only be described as a small movie theater with leather couches instead of bucket seats and cleaner floors, where they wound up all sitting on the same couch, because Bruce was the first to sit down and Tony didn't seem to find it inappropriate to sit right next to him, and Lucinda wanted to sit next to her father. So, with Bruce on his left and his daughter on his right, a bucket of theater-style popcorn in his lap, the billionaire asked, "So what should we watch?"

"Something family friendly and mellow." Bruce supplied.

After thinking for a moment, Lucinda suggested, "Shrek!"

"Agh, that's a kid's movie." Tony complained, "Can't we at least watch something with real people?"

"It could be fun." The doctor protested, "I've heard good things about it. That's saying something."

"Two against one!" Lucinda declared before requesting, "JARVIS, put Shrek on please~"

Pouting, as he wasn't getting his way with anything, Tony grumbled, "Yeah, sure, steal my tech, too. You're my kid alright." He ceased his complaints when the movie started though, at least, but he was determined not to enjoy it. When Bruce chuckled as Donkey announced that he would make waffles after inviting himself to spend the night at Shrek's, he demanded, "What are you laughing about? It wasn't that funny."

"It was," Bruce argued, looking pointedly at Tony as he said, "The Donkey reminds me of someone."

Tony opened his mouth to argue, then closed it again before finally asking, "Did you just call me an ass?"

"SHH!" Lucinda hissed, glaring at them. At least Tony had something to do for the rest of the movie, trying to find similarities between himself and Donkey.

It was Tony's turn to get revenge when they began arguing about parfaits versus onions to describe Shrek, as he said, "I do prefer parfaits. Or fruity drinks. Those also have layers."

Bruce raised a brow and looked over at his friend, "Onions are more fitting. People don't like onions or… ogres."

"But parfaits have more pleasant layers, and, in the case of yogurt parfaits, some people are so turned off by the thought of eating bacteria, they never see the tasty fruit beneath. Their loss, more for those of us who want to understand the… ogres." At that point, they were again shushed by Lucinda, who was beginning to think that perhaps a movie night was a bad idea.

Some time later in the movie, a song began as Princess Fiona and Shrek began to bond, suggesting that Fiona and Shrek were perhaps becoming more than friends, and then, shortly after, there was a romantic scene with a sunset, and when the princess noticed that the sun was setting, she ran off into a windmill for shelter, claiming to be afraid of the dark. Shrek and Donkey then had a discussion about how Donkey knew they had feelings for each other, and encouraging Shrek to go tell her, but Shrek protested, saying, "There's nothing to tell! Even if I did tell her that well, you know- and I'm not saying I do, 'cause I DON'T- she's a princess and I'm…"

"An ogre?" Donkey supplied. It wasn't until that moment that Tony realized he was actually leaning into Bruce, and he only noticed then because he felt the doctor's posture change into somewhat of a slumping slouch, which was only made worse when Fiona's curse was revealed to Donkey, and he Shrek overheard the wrong parts of their conversation and walked away, looking dejected.

Feeling the need to cheer Bruce up, Tony tried, "Situational irony can be a bitch, can't it?"

"The irony is in the truth." Bruce mumbled almost incoherently, his speech was so slurred. At the time, Tony thought that he was simply being pouty and not making sense, though looking back, he realized that was not entirely true, but he left it at that, regardless.

Finally, at the end of the movie, when Shrek went to claim Fiona for himself, he looked back up to Bruce with a grin, "See? The ogre gets the girl."

Bruce glanced down at him and chuckled, "It really is that simple for you, isn't it?"

"I don't see what's so complicated about it." There was a pause, in which Tony noticed how very close they were. Bruce's lips were so close he could almost… A whimper from Lucinda snapped him out of his trance and he sat up immediately, looking over to her. She had evidently fallen asleep against him, and when he subconsciously shifted ever so slightly, she stirred. Of course, when he sat up, she snapped to attention. "Sorry, did I wake you? Crazy kid, you should go to bed when you're tired. Come on, I'll carry you." Grateful for the excuse, he scooped the girl up in his arms, commanding JARVIS to shut the projectors down, as the credits were already beginning to roll, and bid Bruce a hasty goodnight before ducking into the elevator, leaving the extremely confused doctor with his fingers lightly touching his lips, where he could still almost feel Tony's breath against them.

* * *

So first of all, I know Shrek isn't really a generally romantic film, buuut... it is fitting, and I don't know about you, but I tend to get so sucked into movies that I don't realize I've, say, eaten an entire tub of popcorn, so I didn't think that Tony leaning against Bruce was that far out of the question.

That said... Any guesses on what's wrong with Bruce? I'll give you a hint- he wasn't just having an off day, if you still somehow believe that. Certainly not what it was.

One more thing- there was originally going to be about 80% more Bruce in that scene with Pepper and Tony arguing, but I kind of felt like he wouldn't know quite that much, you know? Or have thought that far into it, like Tony saying Pepper didn't notice when he was dying, I don't think he would've thought that far into it. Not that he isn't brilliant, but, he has other things to think about and... well, heh, you'll see.

One more "one more" thing... The next chapter is going to be a... Well, you might hate me for being mean to Bruce, let's leave it at that.


	9. Chapter 8

I apologize in advance for not knowing more about medicine (a few conditions in particular) or the legal system. Sorry~ Also sorry for the wait on this one. I meant to get it up quite some time ago, but I got distracted by... I don't know what. Something.

* * *

By the time two rolled around the next day, Tony again found himself wondering where Bruce had gotten off to and found himself standing outside the doctor's bedroom, debating whether or not he should go in. Eventually, he decided to make his presence known, then barge in. First of all, it was ridiculous to still be asleep at this hour, and second, they'd left off on an awkward note the night prior and he wanted to clear the air. So, he called through the door, "I get avoiding me, but you're taking sleeping in to a new extreme there, Doc." When there was no response, he tried, "Alright, well I tried. I'm coming in." With this, he pushed the door open to find the man was still fast asleep. Chuckling, he made his way over to the bedside, saying loudly, "Honestly, Bruce, I wish I could sleep like you. How can you sleep when I'm talking to you? I'm the most interesting man on earth, bar none- that guy from the Dos Equis commercial wishes he were me."

When there was still no response, he furrowed his brow and gently touched the doctor's wrist, but pulled back quickly as if he'd been stung, "Damn, Bruce, you're burning up! JARV, run a scan on him, will you?"

After a moment, the AI responded with, "Doctor Banner's vital signs are stable- but faint. He has a temperature of 42 Degrees Celsius."

"He's running one-ten?! How the hell did I not notice last night? Bruce! Wake up!" He demanded, now shaking the doctor in an attempt to wake him, but to no avail.

"He appears to be comatose, sir." JARVIS pointed out helpfully.

"Yeah, I think I caught that, not helpful, JARVIS."

"I will alert the auth-"

"No!" Tony cut in, "No, don't call for an ambulance, that'll just draw attention from all the wrong places. Agh," Rubbing his head, frustrated, he said, "I have no idea what to… Alright, focus. First thing is that fever. Saline. I'm going to need a rush order on, I don't know, ten? Ten should cut it for now, bags of Saline, IV ready… Everything else I should have down in the lab, but I'm not a-" He huffed, looking at the man before him, who was sweating profusely, "Doctor…" Sighing, he carried Bruce to the elevator and descended into one of his less-used labs, where he kept his medical equipment. Most of his equipment, though high-tech, was intended for basic things like swapping out Arc Reactors and stitching up cuts- nothing like this, and of course, he had no medical staff on duty, but he did at least have the foresight to have a gurnee put in and had various equipment ranging from scalpels to needles and even a centrifuge.

After depositing Bruce on the bed and hooking him up to a machine that would track his vital signs, Tony tried to cool him down manually with towels. This seemed fairly effective, until suddenly the fever seemed to resolve itself, although Bruce was still completely unconscious. "Well, that's one problem solved," He mumbled to himself as he paced around the room, not noticing Lucinda had come in until she spoke up.

"What happened?" She asked, eyeing the comatose doctor nervously.

"No… No, Lucy, you shouldn't be in here. Whatever he's got might be contagious." Tony muttered, trying to shoo her away, though he failed quite spectacularly as she dodged past him to stand beside the bed. Sighing, he relented, saying, "Well, you probably would've caught it by now, anyway… I don't know what happened, I went to see if he was awake like I told you and he was comatose, according to JARVIS, running an insane fever that probably should've killed him-" He stopped talking then, realizing he may have said too much to a sensitive little girl, who was now shaking as she tried to hold back her sobs, holding Bruce's hand in her own so tightly her little fingers were turning white. "Hey, it's okay," Tony tried to assure her, resting a hand on her back as he knelt down beside her, "He'll be alright."

"You don't know that," Lucinda mumbled, the first tear finally falling, unleashing a torrent of them, her body wracked with sobs. "He's gonna leave me, just like mommy did!"

The engineer furrowed his brow, "No, he's not going anywhere. He'll be just fine, you'll see. I'll fix him." The child looked to him hesitantly- there was no denying the fact that the man was a master of both fixing and destroying things, even himself, but.. He was no doctor. "Hey, come on, I like Bruce too. I'll take good care of him, okay?" This didn't seem to be quite enough for her, so he decided to try another tactic, "Here, you know what? You want to help make him feel better?" She nodded slowly in response, "Okay, see those monitors?" He pointed to the various screens, "Don't worry about reading them, JARVIS will take care of that, but if they start beeping, listen and do exactly what JARVIS says, okay? And if his temperature- this number- goes over 99, go get some cold wet towels and wipe his face and neck with them until he cools off again. Think you can do that?"

"What about you?" The girl wondered worriedly.

"Me? I'm going to run some tests and see what's going on in there. I won't be far- just that table over there is the farthest I'll go," Tony pointed to a lab table on the other side of the room where most of the medical testing equipment was, "At least until the saline gets here- where are we on that, JARVIS?"

"Your order is estimated to arrive in approximately two days, sir." The AI replied promptly.

Tony shook his head, aggravated, "Gotta do better than that. What good is it going to do me there? Send one of ours to pick it up from wherever it is, they can take the jet if they have to, just get it here." Sighing, he fumbled around in a drawer for various vials, a syringe, and tourniquet before returning to Bruce's side, "Sorry about this, but better me than them," He mumbled to his unconscious friend before drawing blood into the vials. Once done, he hurriedly placed a bandage over the site and warned Lucinda not to touch it. After dropping most of the samples into the centrifuge, he took a smear from one of them and examined it under the microscope. "Blood, blood, blood… Oh, hello there. So that's what the Hulk really looks like," He mused, watching the mutated blood cells with great interest, "But there's nothing else here. Just Banner's crazy Gamma blood." Huffing in annoyance, he sat back and glanced over at the other vials, which had just ceased their spinning- perhaps they could shed some light on the situation. Unfortunately, aside from an elevated white blood cell count, anemia, and the usual anomalies of Bruce's blood, there was nothing to indicate that there was even a problem, let alone what it might be.

"Useless," He mumbled to himself, getting up and looking at Bruce, "Well, I guess we move on to the more disgusting samples, then. Lucy, go stare at the blood sample and tell me if you see anything… well, more unusual than what you already see there. You'll know what I mean. Just don't look this way." She seemed hesitant, but eventually left the two to stare at the sample, as directed. After gathering a few other samples and checking them thoroughly, Tony could still find nothing wrong with Bruce. Of course, he knew that he could try forming cultures, but the gamma radiation would likely kill anything before yielding results, and it could take weeks if not months. The fact that Bruce was already in such bad shape was sign enough to him that he didn't quite have that much time to spare.

Eventually, the saline arrived, and he sent Lucinda to take the package from Pepper, knowing that she would want to talk to him if he went himself, and he had no intentions of leaving until he at least knew what was wrong with Bruce. He was steadily getting worse now. JARVIS was implicating multiple organ deterioration, and there wasn't really anything Tony could do about it. Taking him to the hospital would be fate worse than death for Bruce, he knew all too well, but he didn't know what more he could do to even determine a cause, let alone find a solution. Even when the saline came, he was hesitant to start the IV because Bruce was just so anemic, he worried that watering down the blood would only worsen his condition. Sitting beside the bed, staring at the sunken, pale face of the doctor, Tony mumbled, "Come on, Banner… Just wake up and give me a clue, something…" Of course there was no response. Why should there be? Why should he expect a Disney Fairytale ending to this story? "JARVIS? You have any ideas?"

"Perhaps you should focus more on his location." JARVIS suggested helpfully, "He was recently in Africa, where there are widespread diseases that he could be suffering from."

"But he would have gotten immunizations," Tony argued, "He would've known better than to fly to Africa without getting his shots, wouldn't he? Unless he's really been that depressed…" He sighed and shook his head, "No, he would've gotten his vaccines. It's gotta be something else."

"Not all illnesses have known vaccinations," JARVIS pointed out.

Tony raised his head, "What are you getting at, J-man?"

"It is possible that he contracted an illness that has no known vaccinations while abroad." JARVIS replied, not being particularly helpful.

"Well, that narrows it down a little, at least. Uh, run a symptom search? You can do that, right? Of course you can- I made you. Run a search for ah, shakiness- he was shaking pretty bad last night… irritability, with the hulking out thing, comas, obviously put that in there, and weird spiking and respiking fevers, excessive sleeping, anemia, fatigue maybe? Multiple organ failure, which we're headed to if this goes on much longer. What are we looking at now?"

There was silence for a time before the AI finally responded, "Sir, the most likely causes are the African Sleeping Sickness known also as Trypanosoma, or American Sleeping Sickness, known as Chagas Disease. Unfortunately, both have very poor prognoses at this stage and have very different treatments, in spite of the fact that they are similar in nature. It is possible to find and differentiate the protozoa on smears, however, it is particularly difficult and would likely require specialized vials that we do not have access to. Gaining access to those, running diagnostics, learning how to run the diagnostics and read the reports, and to the treatment needed would require more time than we have available to us."

A particularly frustrated Tony ran his fingers through his hair and heaved a sigh, looking down at Lucy, who had long since fallen asleep, nestled up against Bruce in the tiny cot. He didn't really blame her for not wanting to go up to her own bed- he didn't want to leave Bruce alone either. "So I'm guessing treating him for both isn't an option, then?"

"The medication is particularly difficult to obtain, particularly for the African strain as it generally contains Arsenic." JARVIS replied.

"Yeah, "Iron Man Seeks Arsenic" I somehow don't see that headline going over well with the feds." Tony muttered, toying with the brake on the cot in an attempt to keep himself occupied.

"If I might again offer the option to take Doctor Banner to see a more qualified physician?"

"Not gonna happen, JARVIS. All they'll do is run a battery of unnecessary tests and call Ross in-" Bruce shifted and groaned a bit at the sound of the General's name, his heart rate climbing just slightly before settling again. "Well, at least he's not all gone. That's a good sign, I guess. Proves my point, too. If he were awake, he wouldn't want me to take him to the hospital."

"You are not his Power of Attorney, I fear that is not your decision to make."

"It is too! Unless and until real medical staff is involved, it's my damn tower and I know what he would want!" He huffed angrily and began his pacing again ,"The problem is, we don't know anything. We don't know what's just effects of the gamma and what's really a symptom, or why Bruce didn't say anything sooner." He paused, thinking on that some, "...Or why Bruce didn't say anything sooner…" He shook the thought out of his head, no, that couldn't be right. "Arsenic is pure poison. It's like eating moon rocks instead of grinding them into Portal wallpaper. I feed him Arsenic and it isn't from African Bedbugs, it could kill him."

JARVIS interrupted, "If you do nothing, he will die from total system failure either way. Unfortunately, the incubation period for the American strain would fit with the time period that he was in South America, and the same goes for the African strain, so if it is Trypanosoma, I cannot differentiate between which it might be without seeing the protozoa."

"But we couldn't find the protozoa on any of the smears, we're digging for needles in a minefield here and even if we were lucky enough to get one in a smear, the gamma could easily cover it up by hulking out." With an anxious sigh, he forced himself to sit at the foot of Bruce's bed, "Could really use your help right about now, Big Guy." He mumbled, looking to his friend. Of course, there was no response, so ultimately, it was his call. The fact that Bruce's life rested in his hands was stressful enough- the fact that Lucy was there watching his every move and would be just as heartbroken as he would? Enough to start a panic attack. But there was no time for that. "J, call Natasha. Or Clint. Or both of them, I don't care, commandeer their fucking headsets, it's important."

"Have you made a decision, sir?"

"I… Not really. Just get them on the line and I'll have an answer by the time I'm talking to them." He waited rather impatiently as JARVIS did- well, whatever it was he was doing. Soon enough though, he heard Clint's voice come through.

"Natasha, your right."

"I see him, I'm more concerned about the big guy right now. You take the others… Our line's been compromised."

"I noticed."

"It's just me guys, emergency situation here." Tony cut in, feeling it was time to interrupt.

Natasha recognized his voice immediately and regarded him with an annoyed clucking of her tongue, "We're in a bit of a situation ourselves right now, Stark. Some people work for a living."

"And I'm sure you make a killing." He teased, trying to sound less stressed than he felt, "But listen, whatever they're paying you, I'll pay you triple. I need some SHIELD friends right about now, particularly of the "stealth mode" variety."

"I think you're out of favors from me." Natasha replied honestly.

"It's not FOR me, it's for Bruce. I wouldn't be calling you if it were for me. I'm desperate- you think I like dealing with SHIELD any more than you like dealing with me?"

Of course, this brought about all the wrong kinds of tension, "What did you do, Stark? You know he could destroy the city without even knowing." Clint demanded, the sound of gunfire ringing in the background.

"I didn't do anything, the city's fine- why is that always the first conclusion you jump to? No, he's comatose. Completely, been out for hours. I need you to get him meds with your "SHIELD doesn't have to follow the rules" badge. Evidently the kind he needs contains Arsenic, there's no way I'll be able to get my hands on it in time on my own, and he's already on the brink of multiple organ failure."

For a long time, there was silence before Natasha finally asked, breathless, "Are you sure we're talking about the same person?"

"That's what I said. I have no idea how it happened, but it did." He left out the part about not being positive that he even had the right disease, likely a wise decision, "Think of us, right? The Avengers? You know we need him, and right now, he needs you."

There was another pause before Clint finally relented, "Gonna need a name."

"JARVIS will send you one- get on that J," Text popped up on a hologram, a choice between African or American strain, and Tony chose African because, fuck it, if he was going to kill his friend, he was going to do it right. "Just, hurry. Please?" The tone in which he made his plea startled even Tony himself, he sounded so desperate… When had he ever been truly desperate before? Surely not when he had been dying.

"Are you alright, Stark?" Natasha asked, careful not to allow genuine concern reach her voice.

"Yeah, you know, raising a kid I didn't know I had, trying to keep my ex from running me out of my own company, taking care of a man with major anger issues from certain death, the usual. Just another day at Stark Industries." He tried to joke, "Speaking of, I should probably get back to that, I've been down here all day, Pepper's going to have something to say about that pretty soon."

"We'll be there as soon as we can. Might be a few days though, hang in there." Clint told him firmly.

"Great, a few days. I'll just do some R&R, catch a movie… You gotta do better than that. You're government agents for fuck's sake!"

Tony could practically feel Natasha's eyes rolling, "Which is exactly why we're busy. Look, we'll do our best, Tony, that's all we can do for you. Now will you stop interfering with our mission please?"

With a dismissive wave, he shut down the connection and glanced over at Bruce and Lucy, who was still sleeping soundly. "Sir, as you predicted, Miss Potts is on her way to visit you."

"Tell her I don't want what she's selling."

"I'm afraid she is not alone, Sir. Miss Stark's Social Worker-"

"Thought I told you to call her Lucy, JARV." Before they could really finish their conversation, Pepper and the Social Worker were in the lab. Of course, as usual when Tony was stressed, JARVIS had put on some particularly loud, self-destructive music. Unfortunately, this meant that the moment the women chose to walk through the doors, Lamb of God was blaring the song "Laid to Rest," which meant-

"CONSOLE YOURSELF, YOU'RE BETTER ALONE! DESTROY YOURSELF, SEE WHO GIVES A FUCK!-" It cut off there as JARVIS realized it was highly inappropriate.

Tony smacked a hand to his forehead, "Really, JARVIS? You couldn't have caught that sooner?"

"My apologies."

Rubbing his temples as the Social Worker looked around for the source of the voice, he mumbled, "JARVIS doesn't have a body- at least not a real one. Not yet. I'm working on that. He's an AI- software, a program, a voice in the ceiling. He runs the Tower. This is one of my many labs, which I prefer to keep strangers out of." He glared at Pepper as he said this.

"Mr. Stark," The woman greeted curtly, "I am here on behalf of Social Services to check on Lucy… Where is she?"

"Uh, sleeping." Tony replied vaguely, trying to maneuver himself between her line of vision and Bruce and Lucy, but of course, this was a bit suspicious, and she managed to catch a glimpse of them.

"And what is this? One of your experiments?" She asked, pushing past him to get a better look at the two.

"Uh, that would be mine, don't touch that. Any of it. In fact, if we could just talk about this somewhere else…?" Tony managed to get between her and Bruce just before she reached them, "Is there a reason you're invading my personal space? This man is very sick and… really doesn't like to be screwed with. It's generally not a good idea. Like, for the entire population of Manhattan's sake."

The Social Worker folded her arms over her chest, "If this man were truly ill, you would have taken him to a hospital. Clearly, you've done something to him-"

"To be fair," Pepper cut in, "Tony- Mr. Stark hates doctors. In addition to being handed things, dealing with people, being called by his full name-"

"We get it, Pep, I'm a mess. Could you stop? Please?" Well, that was the second time he'd said please in one day. He'd need to rinse his mouth out thoroughly with scotch later.

The Social Worker shot him a harsh glare, "You have had the child for less than a week and already you have put her life in danger flying her over the city and open ocean, fully exposed to the elements in an untested battle suit-"

"I've tested it. Several times. Works fine, and it's not a battle suit."

"Forced her into a public spectacle, had her listening to this obscene trash, and have her sleeping with a strange man that you claim is extremely ill."

"Dying, actually." Tony corrected, not helping his cause at all, "Look, I don't know what you've heard, but I didn't force her to do anything. She wanted to go for a ride with the suit, she wanted to come up and talk to the press, she wanted to sleep by him." There was a gentle tug on Tony's shirt that made him glance back just in time for his face to collide with Lucy's. Evidently she'd woken up and was using him to help get to her feet. Rubbing her nose, she glanced down at Bruce, and no, he wasn't awake, then frowned and turned forward again, about to speak when she saw the Social Worker and ducked back behind Tony's head. "That's not a very good hiding place. We all know you're there." Tony pointed out with a gentle grin as he put his arm around her, effectively pulling her forward.

The Social Worker held her arms out to try to pick Lucy up, "You poor dear, come on, let's get you-" The moment the woman's hands made contact with her sides, the girl broke out in a shrill shriek, and, quite frankly, Tony was shocked that it didn't wake Bruce. Or at least make his eardrums bleed a little.

Instinctively, he drew the child into his own arms and held her against his chest. Resting her hand lightly on the muffled glow of the arc reactor, she seemed to calm a bit, at least enough to stop screaming. "I don't think she likes you." Tony pointed out smugly.

"She's had a rough life." The social worker stated simply, looking at the two, evidently slightly surprised the girl was letting Tony hold her.

"No thanks to her," Lucy mumbled in his ear, "I told her the first time my mom got complaints that I wanted to stay with you, but she wouldn't listen, then when my mom first died she tried to dump me off on my aunt, the one who's in prison now?" The girl shivered at the memory, but relaxed some when Tony patted her back soothingly.

The Social Worker leaned in, trying to hear, "What was that?" She asked, looking to Tony.

"Just discussing how horribly rotted the morals of the government have become. Look, I don't know what kind of crazy fucked-up vision of me you have in your mind, but I'm not that guy. Not anymore. Afghanistan… Iron Man… Near-death by my own weapons… I should be dead right now, by several counts, and that changed me. Ask Pepper, she was just screaming at me about it yesterday."

"The alcoholic I met just a few days ago who didn't want anything to do with his daughter?"

"That's changed, too. No, I wasn't thrilled to find I had a child with some girl I can't even remember the name of, and no, I'm not cut out to be a father, but I'm sure as hell trying!"

The woman shook her head, "This child isn't one of your suits, Mr. Stark. If you make a mistake, you can't just patch her up and expect her to go on living as if nothing happened."

"I know that. I know that all too well." Tony muttered, "But I have help, I have JARVIS, and…" He looked over to Bruce, who was still completely out of it, "Well… I have JARVIS. Is there anything else you wanted to analyze? If not, I'd be happy to show you the door."

"There will be a court hearing in the near future. You will be informed of the date shortly, in the meantime, that girl needs therapy, at least once a week, to discuss how she really feels in a safe environment. We will select a therapist for you." Tony's lip twitched in a bit of an animalistic snarl, but he nodded his consent. "Then I will have my leave… And for God's sake, get that man to a hospital." With this, she let Pepper escort her to the elevator, but, much to his dismay, Pepper didn't tag along with her.

"What are you doing?" She asked, gesturing to Bruce.

Tony sighed, "I don't know anymore. Trying to make him better. He has something… JARVIS thinks it might be from some African Bedbug-"

"The Tsetse Fly, Sir."

"Sure, that. Anyway, point is, he's dying from it."

Pepper nodded casually- she expected this kind of thing from Tony by now. That didn't mean she wouldn't try to make him do what she thought was right, "Tony, you know… You're an engineer. You're good at fixing things, but… You're not a doctor. Shouldn't you-"

"If you suggest I take him to the hospital I swear I will have a tantrum. Everyone says that, but you don't know Bruce. If I brought him to a hospital, even if he did wake up, he'd hate himself for the rest of his life for what came after, because he'd go green as soon as he saw lab coats. I have some… guests… coming at some point, hopefully soon, with medication for him. Just cross our fingers and hope it's the right medication. In the meantime, don't expect me to leave this lab for any reason." He warned fairly. "Not a conference, not a meeting, not a date, not sex, nothing. Not leaving. That's the least I can do." Tony Stark turning down potential sex? Now that was interesting. Though she raised a brow, she nodded slightly before dismissing herself, seeming to understand that he was not to be bothered… too much.

* * *

As always, comments and such are loved. I might take a little while with the next chapter because I'm going to start posting this to AO3 as well as FF soon, but... I don't know that I'll REALLY get around to it this week... I'm a lazy person, what can I say? Anyway, you've got a nice long 'un here, so... I'll update soon as I can because I really don't want to leave poor Brucie like that either XD


End file.
